Description: ok, I'll admit it.... I have NO idea where this came from, I'm not dying anytime soon... right? I hope so, I don't want to, lol. Anyway, sorry for this, really weird piece for me, I don't like it, though hey, I don't like most of my stuff. Hope it was enjoyable.
Soul Lets Go -------------------------------------------
The winds breath lightly touches my face,
my soul lifting me from here, this dark place,
My body is dying, my soul yet is flying.
Why am I even here? I can no longer remember.
Though it doesn't matter, I'm finally dying,
thats right, dying, to set my soul free...
Here in the next world my friends,
dying is only the begining of true living.
i dont think this piece is about death so much as your exploration of what death is about and what happens after death.
i think its a natural thing to think/write about really...
no one knows what happens for real and everyone is always forcing their own ideas on us about what happens so its good that you are thinking about it for yourself.
id try to make this piece more myself.
part of me wants to know what kind of life this person lived... whether death was kind to them or whether they still had so much to live for...
but i think it is good that you havent filled in all the gaps at the same time because it give ths piece a feeling of insecurity... i like that.
i like the idea that death ends in hope.
that death is only the beginning.
makes it a whole lot less scary for the person dying... it isnt always a comfort to those left behind though...
So ya wrote about dying while you're not gonna anytime soon.
I don't see whats wrong with that. =3
I can clearly see where this piece is chaneling wadever, linking to an opening that you've purposely left dangling. Its clear, simple, and enjoyable.
But I suggest a lil' challenge; write some continuation? Be it poem or story-like, anything shall you find pleasing to write the continuation. I'll looking forward to it if you do.
Submission Name: Soul Lets Go
