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    dots Submission Name: Rippled me. dots

    Author: atonement
    Elite Ratio:    2.71 - 106/186/98
    Words: 183
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 928
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1134


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    dotsRippled me. dots

    Dusk has finally fallen,
    giving leave to the darkness,
    where reality's perception,
    is just a dream.

    The cobblestone streets,
    uneven and ancient,
    lead me to a place,
    where earth meets water.

    I stare at the refelection of the girl,
    and decide that this contorted image
    that I see is no longer me,
    just someone they thought I would be.

    I allow my shaking hands,
    to touch the should-be me,
    and something tells me
    in the back of my mind
    she'd be real.

    My hands come up wet,
    She is gone,
    and now I gaze at the rippled me.

    I look at the imperfect person
    staring back at me,
    and remember the girl they wanted
    me to be.

    I'm not sure if I should cringe.
    I studdar at the distored image of me,
    I hate this girl they want me to be.

    Once more I look at reflection of the real me,
    I look with out emotion,
    wondering is this truly me,
    and know it is.

    Submitted on 2007-04-13 01:22:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is just absolutely stunning, and a well structured and in depth write! I really admire your writing talent, Jordynn, and for one so young, I think we'll see your name "in lights" in not too many years! I congratulate your for your effort and your skill!!!
    | Posted on 2007-09-04 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      ah, you've done it again.
    described everything so beautifully and with such grace.
    you make everyone relate to you whether they actually can or can't.
    and you do an amazing job at it.
    every line you wrote made me realize that i have experienced it all and i never got to write it down.
    good job.

    | Posted on 2007-05-01 00:00:00 | by BleedingTears | [ Reply to This ]
      very well done. i loved it. i especially liked the third line. the whole poem had aan echo of despair in it that set the whole mood and actually gave the life of the poem.
    | Posted on 2007-04-15 00:00:00 | by draco-joe | [ Reply to This ]
      A well done poetic meditation, nicely and deftly penned here (note: there is an "a" missing in the second stanza...and in the penultimate stanza there is a word I don't know "studdar") fine poem ... bravo ... bravo ... bravo ... michael
    | Posted on 2007-04-14 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]

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