Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Monsterdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Wolfie
    ASL Info:    18/Male/sweden
    Elite Ratio:    4.97 - 66/61/37
    Words: 230
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 808
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1401



    Description:
       yah yah


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMonsterdots
    -------------------------------------------


    There is a monster inside me
    A maggot of evil, creeping through my veins
    Filling my mind with images of despair
    I can feel it, always haunting my thoughts
    Always waiting to break free, to control me
    The taint on my soul, a mark of horror
    To be rid of it I must obliterate myself

    I am afraid to feel
    It feeds on sadness, anger, pain and distress
    All born from love, happiness, joy and laughter
    Any of which allows it to consume my mind
    To seal it away I must shut down all emotion
    Closing all the gates to my heart, my mind
    Yet it waits, always waiting for an opening
    A crack, and it slips through to take me

    Get it out of my head
    It is my curse, and I am its vessel
    It is the rapist in the dark
    The father molesting his daughter
    The tyrant killing his people
    It is death and destruction
    Pain’s older brother agony
    And it is controlling me

    I am inside a monster
    With no control I can only watch
    As it unleashes its rage, lashing at the world
    Killing, hurting, torturing, massacring
    I can feel it shivering from pleasure
    As the dagger sinks through flesh and scrapes bone
    It orgasms to death, leaving me behind
    Drowning in the blood that should’ve been my own




    Submitted on 2007-04-14 08:20:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      it paints a horrifying yet interesting masterpiece in imy head. your pain and agony radiates for miles here. i love it. it's a little lenghthy on the verses for my personal taste, but it works for you. again it is luminates the gremlins and stands them in the limelight for all to awe at.
    | Posted on 2008-04-25 00:00:00 | by insanegemini | [ Reply to This ]
      i hope you feel better after having written this. its really intense and does very little for me though im not sure it is sposed to in some ways.
    i say it does nothing for me because this is a very personal battle.
    im sure we all have our monsters we have to face and its quite possible that no one else will ever totally understand the monsters or our ways of dealing with them.

    i read this piece and i think a few things.
    i think "surely it cant be as bleak as its being painted to be" but then i think back to when i was suicidally depressed and i know all to well that it could be bleaker if allowed.

    it reminds me of the few pieces i have on my computer that were written by my boyfriend who ended his life nearly 3 years ago... his writings were all about confronting monsters and such and while i took them seriuosly and tried to help there was very little i could do because a) they werent my monsters and i didnt understand them and b) he never was able to articulate his monsters the way he wanted to.

    i dont know.
    i guess i dont get this piece because while you refer to a whole lotta different things you dont actually seem to tell the reader what the monster is...
    i dont know... i guess this piece with all its darkness just... isnt something i understand at all anymore.

    maybe try taking your monster and writing about it in a less "blood dripping off a scalpel" kinda way...?
    | Posted on 2007-04-15 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      My goodness, so much hate and agression in a person who seems so mellow. Not meaning to pry, but what's the story behind this masterpiece? It's a wonderful read, but as the reader I like to know the inspiration to the work. Again great job on this piece!
    Beautiful yet, Corrupted
    Dominique
    | Posted on 2007-04-14 00:00:00 | by DearlyDeparted | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    140475

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love written by saartha
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Carry written by saartha
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    The World written by jjd
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    untitled written by ShyOne
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry