Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: as love turns to hatedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Thief
    ASL Info:    22/male/plainview
    Elite Ratio:    4.8 - 180/80/69
    Words: 107
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 769
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 679



    Description:
       old poem


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsas love turns to hatedots
    -------------------------------------------


    i hate you
    but still love you
    why do i hate you?
    maybe you wanted more than you could handle
    was it that?
    what did i do wrong?
    did i hurt you somehow?
    with you everything was perfect
    my love was purely true
    i would give everything, ANYTHING you wanted
    ...and more
    was it not good enough?
    you made me not care about anything
    only you were important to me
    i would never think about cheating
    but...you did it to me
    why?
    at least one small pitiless reason!!
    but you gave me none
    in the end, i still love you
    but this past turned love into hate




    Submitted on 2007-04-14 16:35:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      what a painful emotional poem...
    | Posted on 2011-01-20 00:00:00 | by ShadowsnLights | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this. the idea behind this is very universal, and you are very frank about how you say it. I do suggest though that you go through and revise some of your lines. A few of them are awkward. Kudos on using punctuation, not many people do that on here. Live, Love, Write.
    | Posted on 2007-04-18 00:00:00 | by BrokenAngel | [ Reply to This ]
      I guess this piece shows how you learned one of life's toughest lessons when it comes to love and relationships. Unfortunately there are many hurdles one must leep in the pursuit of the lasting relationship that we all so desperately seek. Your points were strong and the reader could feel your pain and disappointment.
    | Posted on 2007-04-15 00:00:00 | by ErgoIgo | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    140495

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    Cover written by saartha
    Every..... written by jackz
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Carry written by saartha
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    Etiquette written by saartha
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Records I written by Raphael
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    Silent Screams In Silent Dreams written by poetotoe

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry