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    dots Submission Name: fingerprintdots

    Author: lilathalone
    ASL Info:    25/ F/ florida
    Elite Ratio:    2.68 - 17/28/21
    Words: 48
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 831
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 299


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    i keep my memories of you
    locked away in a drawer
    i don't need them any more
    but they're there
    the old poems and letters
    words you'll never hear
    a fingerprint in the dust
    i see your face
    a familiar soul
    in a sea of many

    Submitted on 2007-04-14 20:13:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I agree 'fingerprint in the dust' is cliché. Try 'fingerprint on the soul' obviously this person is still erecting emotions, and it will probably be awhile before he/she leaves.

    Feel like you need more to write on? Where is the key to this drawer? That would make it longer, but perhaps you don't wish to dwell on that subject.

    | Posted on 2007-10-10 00:00:00 | by orange | [ Reply to This ]
      Okay, I am going to have to start billing you for my editorial work...LOL.

    In line 9 the word is actually familiar.

    Memories kept in a drawer are probably memories you are unwilling to divest yourself of. Be careful lest they rear up and hurt you once again.
    | Posted on 2007-06-26 00:00:00 | by ErgoIgo | [ Reply to This ]
      lor]very good poem actually ..I can feel it you expires your self good hear ..but I think that
    ...'fingerprint in the dust' ....is little bet old I think you can come up with some thing more original

    and the ending line was absolutely brilliant

    a familiar soul
    in a sea of many

    very good I will see more of your work
    I'm sure I will find a good stuff there
    | Posted on 2007-04-15 00:00:00 | by muhammed | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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