[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: "Til Kingdom Come..."dots

    Author: Drifting Star
    ASL Info:    19/F/Somewhere
    Elite Ratio:    2.02 - 22/101/73
    Words: 218
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 770
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1511

       Written in response to a pang of longing; I wanted to call and I didn't.

    Far From Elite,


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots"Til Kingdom Come..."dots

    Hail to thee, you’re all mighty!
    Looking down on me for my happy nature;
    You spurned my love—
    My heart, the object of your disdain.

    I’ve given up on telling you—
    Reminders of what was;
    I’ve decided I forgive you—
    For forgetting everything you were.

    I’ve come to the conclusion,
    That you need conflict to survive,
    Drama becomes you,
    Something I despise.

    It pains me tovaras*,
    That you pulled away in such a manner,
    But wayward children refuse to see,
    The nature of their disrespect.

    I set myself away from you,
    But not against you—never that.
    I’m waiting for the day when you see,
    The disillusionment that—
    You’ve forced between us with your hate,
    A covenant of chill in your eyes,
    Sapphire like the morning sky,
    A hell with no redemption, in your eyes.

    And so I stand here, cloaked by shadows,
    Seeking solace in a place we both frequented;
    I wonder if I’ll ever lose the urge—
    The urge to call you on summer days…
    Days when the clouds form pictures,
    And the high-grass dances to the wind’s song…
    When will I learn to stop loving you—
    You, the one already so far gone.

    Author's Note:

    *[tovaras]: pronounced.."toe-var-esh"...meaning, an individual you trust with your life, safety and happiness.

    Submitted on 2007-04-15 19:48:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      oh god. the first part made me think "bible" {SLASH} shakespeare-ish...

    the next, an old fashioned "i love you, we broke up, i still want you, but i accept it" conversation.

    comes to the mind-old lovers, death, teenagers, bitterness, lonliness, hatred, love

    i liked it very good

    love how broad you vocab is.

    also makes me thin of like getting married

    like a fifties housewife who is just letting her husband take over her life and she knows that he'll do the right thing with it, like he trusts her...

    tovaras--->never heard that one before...
    | Posted on 2007-04-15 00:00:00 | by Rhaine | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought it was lovely. Very good in it's simplicity.

    Keep Writing,
    | Posted on 2007-04-15 00:00:00 | by GetFighted | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]