[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: and i am livingdots

    Author: Rhaine
    ASL Info:    25/Yes/An Alley
    Elite Ratio:    3.87 - 660/744/196
    Words: 192
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 811
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1257

       speaks for itself.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsand i am livingdots

    sometimes i try so hard
    just to make you think of me
    and i know this
    that you never will
    and that just breaks my little heart

    because you can can can
    you most definitely will

    when i cry
    my guts turn black
    and then i vomit like no other
    that you'll ever see
    you make me sick inside
    cause you won't love me

    you're doing this hurt me
    and i know this now
    that you'll never want me again
    you said that you hate me
    but how can that be true
    when i won't let it
    be true

    look, the sky turns gray
    and the clouds are forming
    above me
    yet i linger
    because i think of you
    and how we used to be

    maybe someday
    you will realize
    that i'm still waiting
    out in the rain

    but because you can can can
    you most definitely will

    stomp my little body down
    you will break me
    and you'll destroy me
    but i'll keep coming back for more

    because i can can can.

    Submitted on 2007-04-15 21:45:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      oh wow. Well. gramatically first. Some parts seemed a bit choppy, disrupting the flow if only for a little while...

    As for the meaning and over all write. Great. Stupendous. Though you should not have to feel like that. You of all ppl should know what I have been through. There is always light at the end of the tunnel but i think you have caught the train wreck lol. You can do SOOO much better. You are beautiful, inside and out. You deserve someone who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve. Dont tell me such a person does not exist...I found mine, its your turn:)

    ->Your Darkest Angel
    | Posted on 2007-09-04 00:00:00 | by drk_angl_17 | [ Reply to This ]

    You can only take the down pour of the rain for so long, till you get soo drenched by it, it holds you down.

    Love is not hurt Love is feeling good withsomeone that wont on purposely hurt you.
    Like a Train that said" I know I can, I know I can" Can only pull up that hill and carry that load for soo long, before it notice, it needs to relax it's wheels and don't overburn.

    i am not suggestion to give up love, i am just suggestion, to not get hurt agin.

    Your friend
    If you need a friend PM me

    | Posted on 2007-04-16 00:00:00 | by thelastone | [ Reply to This ]
      i love the persistance that you give off in this.
    i could somehow relate. the only part i didnt like is the can can can. one can wouldve worked fine really.
    | Posted on 2007-04-16 00:00:00 | by Thief | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Wavelength written by saartha
    To written by SavedDragon
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Incubus written by monad
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Push written by JanePlane
    Bond written by saartha
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    untitled written by Chelebel




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]