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    dots Submission Name: Lost in Tormentdots

    Author: Peggy Paris
    ASL Info:    61/F/USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.11 - 747/570/167
    Words: 95
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 563
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 628

       Believe it or not, I'm okay! This is my muse's look at how I've felt at times. My hope is that others can relate.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLost in Tormentdots

    A mind, ever murky, can't see its way clear
    Frustration and worry and sadness and fear
    Such depths of depression just snicker and sneer
    Bad thoughts soon entangle their voice in some jeer
    Harsh strain and great anguish compact in a tear

    A mirror reflected a face none could see
    Two eyebrows, quite hairy and black as can be
    A robust, red nose someone wiped cautiously
    Huge painted on smile simply lacking of glee
    A fragmented image in pain's misery

    In this stranger,
    This person,
    This clown,
    I saw me!

    Submitted on 2007-04-15 22:04:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Nice work, Sharon! Your poem reminds me that we all judge ourselves (and usually see ourselves) more harshly that others do and even more harshly than we are deserving! It reminds me too that our aspirations and planning are frequently clouded by our human emotions; we stumble forward, imperfectly, shocked and battered by fear, uncertainty, scorn, and indecision, but still created in God's image, and ourselves lesser gods, carrying out his purpose! Nice work, gal!!!!
    | Posted on 2007-04-16 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem is ok. I don't like the first stanza that much but the second one is much better as is the ending. Line 3 seems a bit forced, maybe you could change it. It's just a suggestion, if you like it leave it as it is...
    | Posted on 2007-04-16 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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