[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: analysis of fitting handsdots

    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 296
    Class/Type: Prose/Misc
    Total Views: 567
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2094


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots analysis of fitting handsdots

    my beautiful forethought
    standing there
    face hiding behind forest
    streaked like my bird blowing
    and cool lips
    wicking silent
    i still cup your eager blood
    your feathered neck adoring
    any other can never do
    in knowing you,
    this collapse
    in loving i am bright,
    twist and growing
    heart curving like lightening folds
    i grieve the death of accents
    poured fingers
    resting pressure
    silky backs releasing wet
    and mouths
    crushed in peace
    when i met you i was black in the night
    as i am now
    in plastic chest
    wine coloured
    in my olive of skins
    you, like the graceful deity of my voluntary pupil
    gripping me
    like a winded sail
    no leaves on your trees again
    shaking branches in your knees
    and scared of knowing
    what mustn't be known
    the totality of your shattering mind
    absent of thunder's perfection
    the two souls
    like dead thorns
    reaching for the passing rose
    i cloned you in my slow arms
    the tempo of my classic cheek
    your eyes of black cancer
    on mine
    even in their smiles
    i am the unforgetful part of you
    remembering what you can not love
    are we over the vellum flood
    the beasts of clean releifs
    birds like anchors
    in our thighs
    has fear driven you to safety again
    temporary shoulders for your mind
    deaf in the orange wind
    towering evenings
    with the wall at your side
    my scent still in the air when your leaving
    like a ghost denying heavens
    treasures lying about like severed limbs
    my footprints still on the carpet
    and walking
    my honeyed tongue still draped
    over the dresser
    like a summer storm in your drum
    every other thought in me is eternal
    strange in the empty creeping sheets
    these days of false wonderings
    where you went

    Submitted on 2007-04-15 23:51:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i genuflect before the unborn mind of a wild poets soul. like catching moon beams in the night killing time before it's time to kill the untimely sprites. your fair hand to the key board the opaec pen leads the mind to fall in love a thousand time before the eyes leave the page. i know not what drives your heart to write but i am in awe of the dark and unadultured beauty that it brings to life like the abstrasct painting one must create to understand. a long dead nightbird who's song is all but forgotten. to you i appluade

    | Posted on 2007-04-17 00:00:00 | by in shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      this piece just kind of rambles on and uses confusing descriptions.

    examples would be:

    you, like the graceful deity of my voluntary pupil
    gripping me
    like a winded sail


    my honeyed tongue still draped
    over the dresser
    like a summer storm in your drum

    im not sure what to think...
    | Posted on 2007-04-16 00:00:00 | by HappyBuddaH | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Shi written by ShyOne
    Love written by saartha
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Cover written by saartha
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    prison written by ShyOne




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]