[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: I am the Butterflydots

    Author: T. Garrett
    ASL Info:    17, Female(I think;)), Ca
    Elite Ratio:    3.62 - 25/21/19
    Words: 115
    Class/Type: Poetry/BrokenHeart
    Total Views: 653
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 784


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI am the Butterflydots

    I am the butterfly,
    crushed by your words.
    You ripped of my wings
    with your cruel fingers.
    You ripped out my heart
    with your good-bye.

    I am the butterfly,
    hurting inside.
    I can't fly,
    so I cry.
    You ripped out my heart
    with your good-bye.

    I am the butterfly
    broken all over.
    My wings no longer flutter,
    I'm not who I used to be.
    You ripped out my heart
    with your good-bye.

    I am the butterfly,
    why cause me such pain?
    Knowing I'll never fly again.
    Why don't you just
    crush me all the way?
    You ripped out my heart
    with your good-bye.

    I am the Butterfly....

    Submitted on 2007-04-16 09:06:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This was written very well it flowed nicely, was worded greatly, and the emotion was portrayed fantastically. It made me think of times when I was sad over love. I really liked your repetative line, it really gives the poem some kick. This was magnificent. Keep up the awesome wor, and I'll keep reading

    Saint Razor
    | Posted on 2007-04-16 00:00:00 | by brknprclndol | [ Reply to This ]
      Ouch! Ouch! An old lover's lament as old as Time itself ... starkly done here .... pain? indeed! nicely done all around ... bravo ... bravo ... bravo ... michael
    | Posted on 2007-04-16 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    The World written by jjd
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by ShyOne
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    winners circle written by ShyOne




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]