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    dots Submission Name: White Walls...dots

    Author: AeThe Lost Poet
    ASL Info:    19/M/DE
    Elite Ratio:    3.6 - 147/184/122
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 470
    Average Vote:    4.6667
    Bytes: 901


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    dotsWhite Walls...dots

    White walls,
    Dented with hatred,
    With no color-,
    Painted pure,
    To begin with,
    But later tainted,
    To other-,

    With Impurities,
    So twisted,
    Fear floods the floors,
    And Honor,
    Under this roof,
    Drags me down,

    I see nothing,
    And I struggle,
    With no air-,
    Iím left,
    In a bubble,
    Of pain, trouble,
    And disrepair-,

    So I lay there,
    And I stare ate these,
    White walls,
    And study the sight,
    Of reality,
    Smacking me-,

    Because these were,
    Pure painted,
    Before it all-,
    Now they are,
    Dented with hatred,

    Submitted on 2007-04-16 09:13:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      it dose give the impression of a institution (?) but not nessicarily a hospital. so real like it has happened to other people not just me......

    great wright

    | Posted on 2007-06-06 00:00:00 | by stormkrow | [ Reply to This ]
      it gives the feel of hospital ward walls that dented dement white walls or those of expressionless childred who live in rooms with white walls no color no emotion yet tooo much emotion. the dry wall that dent so perfectly when you mark them with anger and hatred. i like how you illuded to an internal struggle that surfaces into the darkness the oblivion of white. the color of purity, the easiest to be tainted. the lines about fear and bubble really struck me with a sense of clostriphobia, being so consumed that one foregets to survive

    all around good write.

    | Posted on 2007-04-23 00:00:00 | by in shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      i'm not perfectly sure what you meant by this but i loved the rhyme scheme, so much i might just start using it. nicely done.
    </3 lisa
    | Posted on 2007-04-19 00:00:00 | by 777sacrites777 | [ Reply to This ]
      Very difffent but well thought out, very good write.

    | Posted on 2007-04-16 00:00:00 | by b_v_grant | [ Reply to This ]

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