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    dots Submission Name: You and My Minddots

    Author: Z-I-G
    ASL Info:    17/M/San Jose, Ca
    Elite Ratio:    1.11 - 0/2/11
    Words: 170
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 705
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1046


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    dotsYou and My Minddots

    Cant get you out of my mind,
    through the test of time,
    you've stayed with my thoughts,
    through millions of ideas,
    you still manage to get through,
    burst into my heart,
    like a shotguns lonely blast
    with a loud boom and a bang,
    you've entered within,
    only to haunt my thoughts,
    and I seem to just give in
    I need to get you out,
    so simple yet so hard,
    why wont you let me be,
    give me peace to this burning desire
    you don't deserve this much space
    not in me if your gonna act this way,
    I speak to you, you listen
    then you seem to ignore
    you grow weary of my presence,
    do I make you start to snore
    its not my fault you didn't give me a chance,
    but a trance was given by you to me,
    a dance of thoughts that I didn't foresee,
    cant get you out of my mind
    through the test of time,
    you've stayed with my thoughts
    its time I say goodbye.

    Submitted on 2007-04-17 00:30:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I loved the fast pase this had..the sheer rush that one gets when they are in love, but I did have a problem with the lack of punctuation though it was a very artistic and wonderful touch...I couldn't slow down enough to breath and keep reading it ....it took a few runs! only advice.
    A couple commas for a girl to catch her breath! *fans self*
    | Posted on 2007-04-18 00:00:00 | by Desolate_beauty | [ Reply to This ]

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




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