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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: How could youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: bigothgurl
    ASL Info:    16, Female, GA
    Elite Ratio:    1.78 - 25/31/19
    Words: 119
    Class/Type: Misc/Serious
    Total Views: 718
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 673



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHow could youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Why must you be this way?
    Why must you always stray?
    Why can't you just stay here?
    Is commitment what you fear?

    I've always stood there beside you,
    I was always sincere and true,
    but you hurt me where it hurt the most,
    now your just a memory of a lonely ghost.

    How could you both do this to me,
    doing things when I could not see.
    For you both I had all my trust,
    what you both had was only lust.

    You both thought that I would be okay,
    but today is my last day,
    so I guess you were both wrong,
    my life had the ending of a sad song.




    Submitted on 2007-04-18 08:56:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I liked the rhyming it had a nice tune to it. I actually liked the For in "For you both, I had all my trust." It showed you knew how to use the word for in the sentence. I liked it bravo. Just remember not all poetry has to rhyme. Just getting your feelings into words can make the most beautiful poem in the world.
    | Posted on 2007-04-18 00:00:00 | by LadyDoragon | [ Reply to This ]
      THIS IS AMAZINGG. i loved it and i can so relate right now its crazy. i have some suggestions.

    so I guess you were both wrong,
    ^i think you should say 'so i guess you both were wrong'
    ..i think it sounds better

    and :
    For you both I had all my trust,
    ^what is the ' i ' for? i dont think its needed. and you could add of after all.

    GOOD JOB :)
    | Posted on 2007-04-18 00:00:00 | by DontLetGo421 | [ Reply to This ]


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