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Author: prettybaby
Elite Ratio:    6.59 - 191 /194 /59
Words: 114
Class/Type: Poetry /
Total Views: 1960
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 664


This is a Shakespearean sonnet.


The reddened sun refuses me its touch;
The moon is cold and does not comfort me.
My heart is weeping; I ask not for much:
Just one more ounce of pain to be released.
The days run thin with weary thoughts of sleep
Yet my weakness keeps my freedom running slow.
The word is not surrender, but defeat
If only I obtain the strength to go.
It seems an act so simple to request
So what deters my motive for a day?
To slip between the dark curtains of death
Would be the ecstasy for which I pray.
I would not suffer one moment longer
If only the ache were but one morsel stronger.

Submitted on 2007-04-18 10:23:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  Yeah, so tht was just...brilliant? Yeah, I'm giong with brilliant. I loved it. It's going in my favourites :)

It flows so well, and nothing felt forced. Great content, and though it's not you, you managed to really put the emotion in it needed to make it believable. That's what makes a great writer. So awesome job!

Cheers and God bless,

~Mandi Gayle~
| Posted on 2007-04-20 00:00:00 | by Mandi Gayle | [ Reply to This ]
  Dude (long silence) great poem. I'm speachless. I love it. It speaks to me on so many different levels, I just wish I could write that well. The first two lines had to be my favorite.

The reddened sun refuses me its touch;
The moon is cold and does not comfort me.

They introduce the poem perfectly. I just love the way you say it. It's just so blunt. I'm kinda stoned right now, so I may not be able to find the words for what I'm getting from this poem. I'll just stop typing.

And weed for all.
| Posted on 2007-04-18 00:00:00 | by Magic Dragon | [ Reply to This ]
I think it's beautiful. You can interpret it in many ways and it isn't a concrete poem, it's a 'feeling' poem. It can describe a lot of situations that go with the feeling of needing that release.

Love the Shakespearian influence. <3
| Posted on 2007-04-18 00:00:00 | by UnderINK | [ Reply to This ]

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