I know what youíre thinking; I can read your thought so donít try and pull the wool over my eyes. Your thinking this is how he spends his time? Saturday night at a lesbian bar? Well Iím sorry to disappoint but yeah this is how I spend my Saturday nights, every Saturday night for about a thousand years. No one notices me when I come to a place like this, and thatís how I like it really. Even if I have on the old digs no one acknowledges me. Crown stabbing into my forehead, robe frayed and filthy, a trail of blood in my wake, I fit right in. But I donít wear that out fit too often, only for appearances, but those are getting few and far between. Only the fanatics want to see me now, once I appeared to a clergyman. I just walked up to him on the street and I asked him to stop sinning in my house, your stealing innocence and thatís a more hell worthy sin then masturbation or murder. I was wearing jeans and a sex pistols shirt, just like now, and you know what he did? He said those boys have it coming, and then he walked away from me. That really set me off for a few months, Christianity is a joke. People used to kill for me, die for me. Have you heard about the crusades? All that cup ever did was turn water into three star vodka. Come to think of it thatís about the time I started coming to these places. Men were a mistake I think, thatís why I like it here so much. These women are really in tune with them selves. Right now Iím sitting in the G spot down town and eating animal crackers over clam chowder.
Animal crackers in my soup, monkey and rabbits loop the loops.
I can remember when I was just a kid, before all the bad stuff started to happen. When people would look upon me and see the light of god. My mom was never much of a cook and trust me itís not like I was an exceptionally picky child. Youíve heard the story of my first Christmas. I figure Iím making up for it now, with the Animal crackers and clam chowder.
Animal crackers in my soupÖ
This isnít what you expected to hear, right? Well Iím sorry I can never manage a good mood on the weekends. All of you preying and promising, you break my heart. Itís the worse on Saturday.
Jesus Christ if this cops lets me off with out a DUI Iím coming to church twice a week.
Dear father in heaven, if you can just make her come Iíll never cheat again.
The list goes on and on, youíve done it too. All those times I helped you got off work early and make it home on time through rush hour traffic and what do I get in return? Nothing, zip, not even a sacrifice of sheep.