Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Cold Firedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Cora Windover
    ASL Info:    1,292/it/Radiant Garden
    Elite Ratio:    4.16 - 862/761/201
    Words: 173
    Class/Type: Poetry/Romance
    Total Views: 188
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1050



    Description:
       Another from the same thing as God With Clay Feet.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCold Firedots
    -------------------------------------------


    You don't know why
    But this one catches your eye
    In a stream of river rocks, like a flash of gold
    Dumb luck, I say
    You weren't panning
    You didn't make a net
    But you caught the silver fish, in any case.
    What use is she to you?
    Thou who hast everything thou desirest
    But you must have her as well.
    Ah me, it is my fate to be swung like a dead cat three times over
    For her fancy is a flight of fancy
    And you won't hold her long.
    Play your cat-and-mouse
    While her interest lasts
    Look, she has forgotten you already
    Did you think a glance was so important?
    A glance that could heat bricks,
    But a glance nonetheless.
    She glances everywhere
    And the fire is all her own
    I, who have followed her all this way
    Only to be cast aside
    I know her like I know every jewel of the heart
    She is all cold fire, and no return
    Ah yes, I know her well
    She burns.




    Submitted on 2007-04-18 19:27:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was good but a little confusing at times...I didn't really like the way you had thou in only that one spot...It felt out of place and odd, But other than that it is good...Mayne you should pick one metaphor and stick with it in the poem...Keep writing and having fun with poetry...
    Toodles
    Katie
    | Posted on 2007-04-24 00:00:00 | by Lover girl | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the way this one reads but I must give a nod to abject honesty and admit that I'm not totally sure what you were telling me. Some days my mind has a tendency to be thicker than other days. Perhaps i will return to read this again when my mind is less corpulent!
    | Posted on 2007-04-19 00:00:00 | by ErgoIgo | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.