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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: echo sighdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Mr.Ordinary
    ASL Info:    21/M/Navy
    Elite Ratio:    3.17 - 64/102/41
    Words: 57
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 1105
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 351



    Description:
       i know its repetitive and i normally hate that but so much on my mind is like an echo and i hate it this poem has nothing to do with what im thinking but i cant stand to have it on my mind, so here is is and now i feel so much better, i hope this wont stop you from commenting because i really want to know what people think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsecho sighdots
    -------------------------------------------


    on top of the rocks
    far away
    i miss my home
    so far away

    deep in the forest
    far away
    i miss my freinds
    so far away

    way out in the ocean
    far away
    i miss my love
    so far away

    lost in my mind
    far away
    i miss my self
    so far away




    Submitted on 2007-04-19 11:09:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      and i wonder why i "feel like a stranger in my own life" sheryl crow

    this one really hit me...the echo effect works..the repetition...and the movement toward the last stanza...and the "i miss myself"

    where did i go..i have lost touch with everyone else..and now with me too.

    this has a simplicity to it..but speaks volumes.



    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-08-24 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      this would be a great song, it has a great flow to it and it would be really catchy! I would add some breaks in the thought in between the stanzas, to show the longing and desire. Overall, lovely poem!
    All the best, Steff
    | Posted on 2007-04-20 00:00:00 | by steffunni | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    12. Does it feel original?



    140856

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
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