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    dots Submission Name: How Does That Feeldots

    Author: DBC
    ASL Info:    21/m/ar
    Elite Ratio:    2.77 - 55/59/29
    Words: 109
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 975
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 729


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHow Does That Feeldots

    your replaceable
    how does that feel
    god knows you've thought
    but when where they real
    lies and half truths
    you gave me
    im here!
    i exist!
    look at me!
    im so tired
    give me a beer
    erase thoughts
    be a dear
    dear me
    oh the noise
    oh my friends
    kill head
    and be fed
    what have you given me
    oh when we're alone
    you seem to see
    but outside
    there is no me
    no you
    no one knows we screw
    im tired
    dont call me
    in need
    im not paying
    im not free
    i give up
    ill tuck it in
    im tired
    of you my friend

    Submitted on 2007-04-19 13:36:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      structure is limiting and untrue to art. since when was the abstract supposed to be diagramed and put in a box. thats not art. thats stanzas, lines, ABA, ABAC, Crap, Crap, Crap. Read some Cummings, some bukowski, Ginsberg. anything. All you Robert Frost and Walt Whitman suckjobs make me want to vomit. writing has come so far, yet most of you are still 150 years behind. Read some beat authors, absurdists. catch up!
    | Posted on 2007-04-19 00:00:00 | by DBC | [ Reply to This ]
      It's interesting. In my opinion, the rhythm is a little screwy. >_< But it's nice, short, and to the point, so,
    Congrats! Well done!
    | Posted on 2007-04-19 00:00:00 | by Ryu Saiashi | [ Reply to This ]

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