Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Hope and Praydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/378
    Words: 366
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 608
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2799



    Description:
       just things i'm currently going through... and how i hope and view it turning out!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHope and Praydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Take this pain with you

    Please
    I beg of you…

    Take this fire that burns within me...
    This inferno that seems to never cease…

    You simply add to the height of these flames…

    Dam! Those tears you may shed the day they cuff you, drag you to the police car...
    Dam! That look you'll give me that very day...

    You had me crying tears for...years…
    Oh so many years!

    In that room
    I thought of as my way out…
    My escape

    How ironic it became a prison
    The prison you built with those very hands…

    Those same hands that touched and used me
    Broke me down as if I was nothing…

    You know?

    You deserver all they put you through...!

    All the hell...

    All the pain...

    All the misery...


    I hope you feel the blunt of it like I did...
    I hope & pray you beg for mercy just the way I did...

    With tears streaming down the sides of your cheeks
    With swollen red eyes...

    I hope you beg for mercy that way
    But receive NONE...

    Just the way I did!

    I pray the day I go on the stand...

    I can look you in the eye and tell them all you did to me!

    I hope that very day you can see all the pain you have filled me with.

    Don't get me wrong I despise you…

    I dislike you to such an extent it’s unimaginable to most…


    But I will not allow my disgust of you to control the rest of my life…
    Granted you controlled me then
    And my future...


    But now is when karma comes back and bites you in the ASS!!!

    Now... you nasty sick OLD man I control you and your future...


    HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?




    Submitted on 2007-04-19 20:18:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      well it is very much a rant, and you are pretty angry in it. personally im more of a logic type of girl. You hate this person you write about and wish to hurt him as he hurt you, but if you did, then how would you be any better of a person than he is? my morals are getting away with me again. I like the peice though! keep up the strength in your work!
    | Posted on 2007-05-15 00:00:00 | by Jessica Lynn | [ Reply to This ]
      Knowing you a bit better than I did when I first started reading your stuff, I find it increasingly difficult to objectively critique your writing without getting A) upset, or B) involved.

    This is kind of a review and kind of not.

    Mainly not.

    I'm sorry.

    Peace'n'love'n'stuff

    Ben Gunn
    | Posted on 2007-04-25 00:00:00 | by Ben Gunn | [ Reply to This ]
      Very emotive! I liked this a lot, but when you put in the ...years... it kinda made it sound like you lost what to say, overall it was a good poem and I hope you keep on writing! I enjoy reading them =p
    | Posted on 2007-04-23 00:00:00 | by Shadow24968 | [ Reply to This ]
      Let me be the first to comment on this! Seems like this one could be the last in a chapter of your poetry collection. It's nice to see this is all coming to an end! What will you write about now? lol. I absolutely love the ending of this one! First bit of control I've seen you write about. Everything else seems to center around a complete lack of control. (See 60 other submissions....) There are a few spelling and usage errors that may confuse some people, but I'll talk to you about that later... Believe me, I can't wait to see the look on his face either.

    Love you baby,
    -Dave
    | Posted on 2007-04-22 00:00:00 | by Wired | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    140889

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry