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    dots Submission Name: Hope and Praydots

    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/623/381
    Words: 366
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 702
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2799

       just things i'm currently going through... and how i hope and view it turning out!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHope and Praydots

    Take this pain with you

    I beg of you…

    Take this fire that burns within me...
    This inferno that seems to never cease…

    You simply add to the height of these flames…

    Dam! Those tears you may shed the day they cuff you, drag you to the police car...
    Dam! That look you'll give me that very day...

    You had me crying tears for...years…
    Oh so many years!

    In that room
    I thought of as my way out…
    My escape

    How ironic it became a prison
    The prison you built with those very hands…

    Those same hands that touched and used me
    Broke me down as if I was nothing…

    You know?

    You deserver all they put you through...!

    All the hell...

    All the pain...

    All the misery...

    I hope you feel the blunt of it like I did...
    I hope & pray you beg for mercy just the way I did...

    With tears streaming down the sides of your cheeks
    With swollen red eyes...

    I hope you beg for mercy that way
    But receive NONE...

    Just the way I did!

    I pray the day I go on the stand...

    I can look you in the eye and tell them all you did to me!

    I hope that very day you can see all the pain you have filled me with.

    Don't get me wrong I despise you…

    I dislike you to such an extent it’s unimaginable to most…

    But I will not allow my disgust of you to control the rest of my life…
    Granted you controlled me then
    And my future...

    But now is when karma comes back and bites you in the ASS!!!

    Now... you nasty sick OLD man I control you and your future...


    Submitted on 2007-04-19 20:18:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      well it is very much a rant, and you are pretty angry in it. personally im more of a logic type of girl. You hate this person you write about and wish to hurt him as he hurt you, but if you did, then how would you be any better of a person than he is? my morals are getting away with me again. I like the peice though! keep up the strength in your work!
    | Posted on 2007-05-15 00:00:00 | by Jessica Lynn | [ Reply to This ]
      Knowing you a bit better than I did when I first started reading your stuff, I find it increasingly difficult to objectively critique your writing without getting A) upset, or B) involved.

    This is kind of a review and kind of not.

    Mainly not.

    I'm sorry.


    Ben Gunn
    | Posted on 2007-04-25 00:00:00 | by Ben Gunn | [ Reply to This ]
      Very emotive! I liked this a lot, but when you put in the ...years... it kinda made it sound like you lost what to say, overall it was a good poem and I hope you keep on writing! I enjoy reading them =p
    | Posted on 2007-04-23 00:00:00 | by Shadow24968 | [ Reply to This ]
      Let me be the first to comment on this! Seems like this one could be the last in a chapter of your poetry collection. It's nice to see this is all coming to an end! What will you write about now? lol. I absolutely love the ending of this one! First bit of control I've seen you write about. Everything else seems to center around a complete lack of control. (See 60 other submissions....) There are a few spelling and usage errors that may confuse some people, but I'll talk to you about that later... Believe me, I can't wait to see the look on his face either.

    Love you baby,
    | Posted on 2007-04-22 00:00:00 | by Wired | [ Reply to This ]

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