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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Fearlessdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: GiveMeTheGun
    ASL Info:    20/F/TX
    Elite Ratio:    3.51 - 108/85/15
    Words: 173
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1067
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1319



    Description:
       I don't know. I'm corny. I'm a sap for rhymes. & I havent written in ages. These all add up to a good excuse. Ha.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFearlessdots
    -------------------------------------------


    We tumble headfirst;
    fast, breathless
    the half second's flash of a scare.
    take a look this way
    we're friends, we're strangers
    but today we don't really care.
    Reach for me,
    I'll grab for you.
    Don't let go, baby, I might drop you.

    I'm free,
    you're weightless.
    Flying, we're fearless.
    without you what would I do?

    You're confident,
    I'm shy.
    Don't ask me why.
    It must be because I'm with you.

    Just for this second,
    this minute, this moment.
    Pretend it's only us two.

    It they saw us, they'd stop us
    so while they can't see us,
    what do we have to lose?

    Hold my hand
    fold your wings over me
    there's just something about the clouds in your eyes.
    It's freedom when we fall
    and flying we're free
    up here high in the air watch over me.
    We'll tumble headfirst
    diving, breathless
    too fast to really be scared
    we're friends when we're strangers
    we don't really care
    tonight, for the first time, we're fearless.






    Submitted on 2007-04-20 09:46:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this is really interesting. realising you wrote it a while so it may not mean to you then what it means to you now but i think you have painted your relationship well.

    the reader doesnt know to whom this piece is addressed which i think is wonderful. it makes it easier to focus on the workings of the relationship rather than those in the relationship... the freedom... the fearlessness... the weightlessness...

    could it be love?

    we are friends we are strangers
    we are friends when we're strangers

    an interesting swing on the line there... what does it mean to be strangers...?

    when i was in high school they had this corny line that went something along the lines of "there are no strangers here only friends we havent met" which i always thought to be a load of crap on some levels because i could sit with my whole friend group and feel completely isolated some days...

    but i like the moments when you feel like you transcend everything... everything that weights you down and makes you feel so small... and it can be the smallest thing that frees you but in that moment of freedom you are invincible and that is where i feel this piece ends...

    right now we are invincible.

    nice work.
    | Posted on 2007-10-22 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      I absolutely love this poem. It is soooooo tight. By the way. . . . . . . . . . . . . the rhyming is awesome.

    This stanza was the best:

    Hold my hand
    fold your wings over me
    there's just something about the clouds in your eyes.
    It's freedom when we fall
    and flying we're free
    up here high in the air watch over me.
    We'll tumble headfirst
    diving, breathless
    too fast to really be scared
    we're friends when we're strangers
    we don't really care
    tonight, for the first time, we're fearless.

    It's powerful. . . . . . . . . and it has great imagery. It makes me feel as though I'm watching everything that's goin on. Oh my gosh . . . . . . . . . . I don't know what else to say other than the fact that I love this poem. . . . . . . . . . . . .

    >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>>

    SD
    | Posted on 2007-04-22 00:00:00 | by SilentDreams42 | [ Reply to This ]
      DUDE u wrote another poem! finally i was waiting for like everrrrrrrrrrrrrr.


    yeahhhh. this poem is icy chilll. because its like an SP song. and it flows awsome. and ur fearless in it. FEARLESSSS.


    i like the ending part its awsome.



    laterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

    GrimFighter
    | Posted on 2007-04-21 00:00:00 | by DaGrimReaperess | [ Reply to This ]
      Correct this spelling
    It they saw us, they'd stop us

    to

    If they....

    Good one. Thats a good job that you did not force any rhyme. It is as though the rhyme is within. great.....

    AT last i see a person who likes rhymes they way it should be .
    | Posted on 2007-04-21 00:00:00 | by keestu | [ Reply to This ]
      beautiful poem, totally giving me goose bumps.... i really like this poem, i can kind of relate to this....
    A++

    cheers
    | Posted on 2007-04-20 00:00:00 | by DaRaven | [ Reply to This ]


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    140927

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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