They're Free by djtswing

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Submission Name: They're Free dots

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Author:	djtswing
Elite Ratio:	5.08 - 84/87/71
Words:	125

Class/Type:	Poetry/Misc
Total Views:	159
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	897

Description:
This was inspired by those many people who abuse the many rights we have in America. The people who have consideration often face "political incorrectness." Freedom of Speech is often abused, that is where this comes from. So I call everyone out there who agrees and sees this to stand up and do something to slow down the downward cycle in America.
--Editted--

They're Free dots

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Free to offend
never caring what they say.
Well, freedom of speech wasn't meant this way.

They're free to destroy
free to do more.
They've brought me hurt, they've ruined me, but what for?

They're free to disgrace
and defile a girl's body.
"Freedom of speech, we ain't hurting nobody."

They're free to run wild
as if life's a mere game.
Yet I can't stand here declaring the Lord's name.

No matter what they say
there's no freedom they can give
that can take away my right to live.

What about you?
Will you speak, will you write
will you continue fighting the fight?

I call the brave
the righteouss few
the timing is near, this is your cue.

Submitted on 2007-04-20 09:52:28 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Nice. I love the line about not being able to declare the Lord's name. It's so true! Our country really is becoming a messed up place when we start foresaking everything it ws built upon.

But anyway, great write. So true, and wonderfully written. It's a relly great piece :)

Cheers and God bless,

~Mandi Gyle~
| Posted on 2007-04-20 00:00:00 | by Mandi Gayle | [ Reply to This ]
  hey hun,

well this isnt the usual poem type i critique because i love politics and i tend to debate more than i comment, but i seen you around here and decided what the hey. ill give you my best considering thats all i got to give.

"Free to offend
never caring what they say.
Well, freedom of speech wasn't meant this way."

okies i agree but to the poem, is this a poem where people try to bring each line a rhyme? hmm i dont know if i truly like the way you formatted this but other than that i love how you began though its not very confident with strength. i as a reader of poetry look to the first stanza to grab my attention this really didnt totally grab it but i got curious as to how you were going to make this so ill move on to the next stanza.

"They're free to destroy
free to do more.
They've called me a jerk, they've called me a whore."

This isnt again what i call the "best" because its a bit umm self pity is what brings to mind. "jerk" is not a very powerful word as it is but i do see what you are doing. it doesnt rhyme like the frist one so im guessing this doesnt have a consitency to it does it? i have nothing really constructive to say only that you should try commas not just line breaks.

"They're free to disgrace
and defile a girl's body.
"Freedom of speech, we ain't hurting nobody."

THIS! is what i am talking about! that is the line of power you need, that is what gives your poem its soul! i love it. im raving wow i didnt even know if i would truly like this poem but this just grabed me and wont let me go. brilliant! if you made your other stanzas so powerful believe me this would be an amazing poem.

"They're free to run wild
as if life's a mere game.
Yet I can't stand here declaring the Lord's name."

okies im not a religious person in the least what i have to say is i agree, you hear so much "[censored]" that its suprising that people cant even say god but we can say damn though i hear [censored] yet im not a prude i dont think swear words are umm what imature idiots tend to say "icky" but they shouldnt limit our vocabulary to what "they" think is right. again you are getting stronger as you move on though if i didnt put so much time in this before i reached these last few parts i probley wouldnt have stayed to read the rest.

"No matter what they say
there's no freedom they can give
that can take away my right to live."

ahh so this is a bit cheesey you rhyme in the begining now the end and very little in the middle i think with how you built this up you need a more explosive ending other than that though this is a wonderful poem. i wouldnt add it to my fav list but again there were parts in here where i just wanted to shout and say "ha!" why no idea i think its the lack of sleep though hehe *hugs*

all the love
nikki
| Posted on 2007-04-20 00:00:00 | by nikita2u | [ Reply to This ]
  I love this poem, and I am with you 100%!
The ending is great and I loved it. Nothing can take away anyones right to live, and you seem like a strong willed person.
Be proud of that and keep living, dont mind what anyone says!

And you write beautifully, wonderful flow and nice rhyming and rhythm to the verses... nothing seemed forced which absolutly made my day!

necrotic
| Posted on 2007-04-20 00:00:00 | by necrotic | [ Reply to This ]
  I love this poem, and I am with you 100%!
The ending is great and I loved it. Nothing can take away anyones right to live, and you seem like a strong willed person.
Be proud of that and keep living, dont mind what anyone says!

And you write beautifully, wonderful flow and nice rhyming and rhythm to the verses... nothing seemed forced which absolutly made my day!

necrotic
| Posted on 2007-04-20 00:00:00 | by necrotic | [ Reply to This ]

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