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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Tears of a Clown- part 7dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: wilted_flower
    ASL Info:    22 f uk
    Elite Ratio:    2.94 - 42/56/28
    Words: 276
    Class/Type: Story/Serious
    Total Views: 723
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1396



    Description:
       Finally, here you go xxxx


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTears of a Clown- part 7dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Lilly woke the next morning to the feeling of warm sunlight on her face, groggily she opened her eyes and looked at the empty space next to her; Tom had already left for work and oddly that made her feel even more relaxed. She dragged herself out from under the duvet before staggering sleepily over to the wardrobe, dropping herself to the floor she opened the heavy door and started to pull a pile of clothes out from the bottom. Five minutes later and Lilly had found what she was looking for, a small, tatty child's jewellery box was sat on the palm of her hand and in it was the most precious thing that she owned...
    Tom sat in his chair drumming his fingers on the desk as he waited for the umpteenth call that day, he hated this job and the pay hardly made it worthwhile, but Lilly did. God how he loved that woman, she had very quickly become his entire world and he hoped that it would always stay that way. Tom had never loved anyone the way that he did her, in an od kind of a way Lilly was his first love, how many times had he looked at her and felt a lump in his throat? how many times had he kissed her and let his heart skip a beat? He'd lost count by now, it felt as if he was still in those early throes of love and passion; not a solid two year long relationship. The phone rang disturbing Tom from his daydream, with a sigh of resentment he picked it up.




    Submitted on 2007-04-20 15:28:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this was good. it seemed much shorter than the rest...but it was definetly good! there is good use of description in here and the way you made this part end...telling me what tom is doing and what lilly is doing...it really makes me want to read to see whats gunna happen next. one small problem i noticed..in the first paragraph
    Five minutes later and Lilly found what she was looking
    for
    should it be that way? or should it be Five minutes
    later Lilly found what she was looking for
    well anyways...
    ~crazy~
    | Posted on 2007-04-24 00:00:00 | by crazyinsane | [ Reply to This ]
      hey , it's pretty cool , i like it specially the impressions , but a slight problem the first Paragraph , well , it isn't related to the second and if you wanted it that way try to find an ending for it , am not saying it's bad , but it somehow cuts through the story , keep writing , and am gunna keep reading
    | Posted on 2007-04-20 00:00:00 | by Squall Leon Hea | [ Reply to This ]


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