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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I'll Die Like Thisdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Cora Windover
    ASL Info:    1,292/it/Radiant Garden
    Elite Ratio:    4.16 - 862/761/201
    Words: 193
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 230
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1394



    Description:
       the first of the Tales of Symphonia poetry... there will probably be more ~_^

    this is also Angel in Hell XI.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI'll Die Like Thisdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Closed,
    Shuttered.
    But for you,
    It might be different.
    I keep telling myself we're only friends,
    But I'm deluding myself again.
    I'm good at that.
    You saw me for a moment,
    On the balcony,
    I told you it was tiring
    To keep joking all the time.

    You probably don't realize,
    But I watch you
    While your back is turned.
    I admire you,
    You're passionate and brave,
    You're everything I'm not.

    The mask is slipping off my face,
    My angel,
    I'll go out like this a thousand times
    Before I tell you,
    I'm in love with you,
    I'll die like this.
    You're crouching over me,
    I'll fade away before I realize
    How much I'll miss.

    You trusted me
    And I'll die like this,
    At the edge of your sword.
    You trusted me and I gave you hell,
    I'll perish here,
    I might as well.

    Believe in me and I'll die like this,
    Unrequited,
    In love and falling.
    At the edge of your sword,
    You hate me now,
    You're better off then knowing how
    I loved you.
    I'll die like this,
    My angel.
    Find your heaven,
    And I'll find bliss.




    Submitted on 2007-04-20 21:44:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I love this poem, although its werid that its about a aime thing,but its all good.
    8 outta 10 for me.
    well written
    the flow isnt amazing, i gotta work on flows too.
    | Posted on 2007-04-21 00:00:00 | by Rainin_Raspbery | [ Reply to This ]
      This was written very well. It flowed nicely, but, unlike the last one I read, the words didn't bring out the imagery. Other than that I thought it was great. The emotion was portrayed very well, I felt the pain and the love. It was very nice, but also sort of sad. Keep up the nice work, and I'll keep reading

    Saint Raxor
    | Posted on 2007-04-20 00:00:00 | by brknprclndol | [ Reply to This ]
      Its good. Just one thing. The second line in the first stanza. I dont think you mean "shuttered" because thats kinda like window panes are covering you...kinda odd.

    Anyways yea the poem is ok. I mean it isnt one of my favorites and there is definitly more you can add. I think you put a bit too much emphasis on "I'll Die Like This". Try to place a bit more imagery into the poem so that when I am done reading this maybe I will remember more than that one line. Like for instance...describe the balcony, the temperature that night, how he made you feel inside, besides in love. Does he understand you? Do you feel sorry? Why? You get what I am saying. Well those are only suggestions, but yeah good write.

    -Randee
    | Posted on 2007-04-20 00:00:00 | by UnderlinedInRed | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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