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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I`ll give youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DAlin
    Elite Ratio:    2.12 - 82/137/75
    Words: 82
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 838
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 512



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI`ll give youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I`ll give you mornings in the sun
    I`ll give you sorrow and a dawn,
    I`ll give you happyness and tears
    I`ll give you voices lost in fears.

    I`ll give you silent human forms
    I`ll give you flowers, golden clones,
    I`ll give you melody, to die
    I`ll give you flames to tell a lie.

    I`ll give you power to destroy
    I`ll give you pain just to enjoy,
    I`ll give you simple things and more...
    ...because it`s you, who I adore.




    Submitted on 2007-04-21 06:28:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      ~*~

    Simple expressions in a quick monotonous rhythm and the classic aabb rhyming scheme but written with wonderful intensity.

    Some of the lines are quite original and unusual - they breathe a touch of fresh style to this piece:

    "I`ll give you silent human forms
    I`ll give you flowers, golden clones,
    I`ll give you melody, to die
    I`ll give you flames to tell a lie."

    Also, two lines make me wonder:

    "I`ll give you happyness and tears"
    and
    "I`ll give you pain just to enjoy"

    They sound sadistic :) Heh...
    But then again, poetic expressions can be interpreted in so many ways - more then I can count.

    ~*~

    P

    | Posted on 2008-02-23 00:00:00 | by Porcelaine | [ Reply to This ]
      aww
    thats all that can be said for this
    -rachelle
    | Posted on 2007-04-21 00:00:00 | by dark lover | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very touching piece. Keep up the work. God bless!
    | Posted on 2007-04-21 00:00:00 | by Depression420 | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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