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    dots Submission Name: Misogynisticdots

    Author: Guernica
    ASL Info:    17/male
    Elite Ratio:    2.87 - 77/114/67
    Words: 77
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1195
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 498


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I see people moving through the halls
    and rows and rows
    of dirty old clothes.
    I want to stalk them,
    follow them, rape them,
    make them love me,
    because its so hard to let them do it on their own.

    And the weather's getting warmer.

    I hate women
    but that's okay I hate men too.
    They're all just sucking cock, anyway.

    And life feels good until it doesn't.

    Submitted on 2007-04-22 22:03:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      The short, abrupt breaks in this piece really just seem representative of ADD mentality that seems to plague the entire world nowadays. They seem to add nothing to this piece and in fact, I think they actually take away from it all. The first stanza followed your thoughts and was easy to relate to and was just a good way to put into words what many people think. Trust me, you're not alone.

    The rest however, is the same bull[censored] I say every day of my life. "I hate women, but that's okay, I hate men too. They're all just sucking cock anyway." If that's poetry, then I'm a goddamn genius. As I said, I say that every day of my life. It's nothing new, not a novel thought at all. There is nothing uncommon about it, and that's what bothers me. CREATIVE writing is the key, and while your writing is honest and candid, it's just not that original.

    I'm not trying to be mean here, I'm trying to be helpful. What you need is to retain your honesty while adding some good descriptive and figurative language on top of it. That would truly make for a wonderful piece.
    | Posted on 2007-07-31 00:00:00 | by Meckes | [ Reply to This ]
      Comedic, to say the least. This was peculiar, and yet, very rewarding to read. Casual. I like that feeling in poetry. It brings sense of realism and justice to everything.

    "That's it."

    That's all. It's good to have an abrupt ending, rather than those length, star-gazing, mouth drooling endings where absolutely nothing is resolved. It's supposed to sound "je ne sais quoi", but it...does not. They've missed the concept completely.

    What bothers me is the switch from people to weather to women. Too many topics at once, even if they correlate. There should be a chord to singuralize them, or write separate poems to evolve the ideas.

    I am fascinated.
    | Posted on 2007-07-30 00:00:00 | by JenFlynn | [ Reply to This ]

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