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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Alivedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Rainmaker
    ASL Info:    23 / M / Finland
    Elite Ratio:    4.84 - 45/50/19
    Words: 26
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 757
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 235



    Description:
       Something written in the middle of the night - but it somehow feels it needs something more. What do you think?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAlivedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Feeling so good
    Love understood
    Searching something
    Finding nothing new
    I feel like livin'
    My heart no longer
    Frozen
    I'm alive,
    My heart screams
    Whispering dreams




    Submitted on 2007-04-23 17:39:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
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    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I think that "Frozen" shouldn't be on that line all a lone. Really throws off that built up happiness. Also, maybe if you include some punctuation to show some energy.

    "I'm alive!" is much more affective than "I'm alive,"

    See what I mean?

    This could be a very nice energetic poem if you let it!

    <3 Maki
    | Posted on 2007-10-04 00:00:00 | by Maki | [ Reply to This ]


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    141157

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    January 10 07
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