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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I feel ridiculous dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: nolram
    ASL Info:    29/M
    Elite Ratio:    3.66 - 58/61/33
    Words: 425
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1162
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2441



    Description:
       This one is about the intense passionate love of a lonely guy who had a good time at a dance with a pretty girl who normally hangs out only with social top of the foodchain types.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI feel ridiculous dots
    -------------------------------------------


    My close friends know me as intense.

    My aquaintances know me as a goofball.

    I don't want to be either anymore.

    I just want to be young and have fun

    Jesus. Life is so up and down.

    I want to be one of those guys.

    Those guys in those pictures standing next to you.

    With their frosty tipped hair and their huge carefree smiles

    A beer in one hand and you in the other.

    You look at ease because this guy is at peace with himself.

    When he is a goofball it is only for a second or two and you know and trust him because he doesn't have a goofy act that he doesn't know how to abandon. Like I do. But trust me my feelings are real. And they are the kind that make me want to jump into the sun for you.

    I can see the look in your eyes. You want to fuck him

    Even though he is nothing more than a socially accepted rapist and I conversely want nothing more than to love you.

    Baby you don't even know.

    I know. I don't even know you.

    But you make me want to be a better person.

    I want to conquer my fears.

    I want to find success.

    I don't care if society is bullshit.

    For you I'll conform.

    I'll get a job.

    We can go faraway and live together

    I'll fucking die for you.

    But yeah, I don't even know you.

    But seriously....even in all my fear of death, I can picture it, if I needed to sacrifice myself for you, just as everything else in life, I would grudgingly and intensely do it.

    Down with the ship. Away with the storm. Torn in a gunfight. I would fight a war.

    I just want you to know there's more to me than those carefree beer swilling jocks you prefer.

    I am the embodiment of passion

    And I can make those things inside you have been drinking away come alive in ways that make you the truly happy, beautiful girl you should be

    instead of the happy facade that you put on to fraternize with guys named Chad who make fun of Simi Valley

    I would love the real you in all your glory and all your shame. We all have both. You know...





    Submitted on 2007-04-23 17:44:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
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    ||| Comments |||
      this is really good.
    it has that sock it to ya honesty that makes me feel at home.

    i wish people would learn to look beyond themselves. i mean in the sense that some never delve out of their comfort zones. as well there is that saying bout judging books and all.

    too....theres that other side of the coin. maybe shes standing next to chad but has been wating all her life for that someone different to show up.

    just saying.

    (smile).

    i really really like this.
    | Posted on 2014-06-05 00:00:00 | by isabella | [ Reply to This ]
      This write is pretty cool.and as i read i feel at home...as i have felt this way too..Ive been in that position that you write about...The gooky one whose always making jokes..never taken seriously..always a friend and never a boyfriend...
    DAMN YOU JOCKS...!!!hehe
    I love the imagery and i feel your emotion...The only thing is it is a bit jumbled....but an overall good write.
    | Posted on 2007-04-24 00:00:00 | by ariesmind | [ Reply to This ]
      How sad. Not sad in a pathetic way. But in an...aching way. I thnk I enjoyed it. But I'm torn. The way it was put together threw me off. One line here, a paragraph there. Maybe you were using the form someone, to portray something. I'm not really sure. A few spelling errors, but that's normal. Well written, descriptive, gave good imagery. Not bad, not bad at all in my opinion.

    Well done,
    Karios
    | Posted on 2007-04-23 00:00:00 | by Karios | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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