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The lost love

Author: Lover girl
ASL Info:    17, female
Elite Ratio:    4.39 - 83 /54 /24
Words: 144
Class/Type: Poetry /
Total Views: 1087
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 811


I wrote this hours after I saw the man that broke my heart and kept all the pieces

The lost love

Hope is gone from my broken heart
I saw you and I could not excape
My love still flows like a river within
But I have an agony I can not explain

It has been a long while
Since I felt your warm touch
My cheeks still have tear stains
But I think of you so much

Life is a board game
It can turn on a dime
And wether or not we like it
We can not turn back time

Torturing winds bring me your scent
And angels wings with your smile
I try and forget the past that we had
But the numbness I have is only mild

The loneliness I cannot bear
The deceit of your sweet kiss
The strenghth in your arms when you held me so close
And the whisper of you on my skin

Submitted on 2007-04-23 23:56:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  This is a quite a good piece, Katie..................and pretty mature thoughts here..................the rhyme is not very steady..but its alright................but as Michael said, do check your spellings........

'Exscape' should be 'escape'

'weather' should be 'whether'

'sent' should be 'scent'

'deciet' should be 'deceit'

Just make these few corrections...............and 'The Lost Love' will be much more enjoyable to read! : ) Keep it up! : )
| Posted on 2007-06-07 00:00:00 | by mdsouza | [ Reply to This ]
  Katie, this is a wonderful love poem! You have much talent, and this poem conveys not only good structure but a fine story!
| Posted on 2007-06-06 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
  A fine, fine and poignant piece of poetry....classic lover's lament very well done and stark in its sadness .... (some typos: line 11 should be "whether" line 13 "scent"...) bravo ... bravo ... bravo ... michael
| Posted on 2007-05-30 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]

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