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Author: lynn marsters
ASL Info:    20/f/canada
Elite Ratio:    3.41 - 49 /61 /32
Words: 53
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 1080
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 358


dedicated to the memory of George Falloon


Grief unaltered
by the unaffected expression
rising to the surface of her face

It floats as delicately
as a humble and unassuming lily pad,
above a deep and turbulent pool

In danger at every moment
of collapsing back into the water
and bathing her face in tears

Submitted on 2007-04-25 14:36:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  Short yet descriptive...
somehow I don't quite feel for it, it's good but something is missing... just a feeling though (maybe I'm too tired)...
yeah... it sould affect me more since the imagery and language is really good but somehow it doesn't
| Posted on 2007-10-17 00:00:00 | by Wolfie | [ Reply to This ]
  You could have a better rhym schem our just reword it so it sounds betterbecause its flow wasnt all that great
| Posted on 2007-08-15 00:00:00 | by panzyrocker | [ Reply to This ]
  You had some nice metaphores and analogies within the body of this piece. It spoke loudly of the strength it takes to fight through the throes of grief.
| Posted on 2007-04-26 00:00:00 | by ErgoIgo | [ Reply to This ]

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