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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Endless Vowdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Cora Windover
    ASL Info:    1,292/it/Radiant Garden
    Elite Ratio:    4.16 - 862/761/201
    Words: 159
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 241
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1126



    Description:
       blah, catharsis poetry.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Endless Vowdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Will you still love me when I've hit the wall,
    When I've finally lost it all,
    When all of that slacking comes biting back at me,
    Oh,
    You won't find another like me.
    I'm terrified,
    But despite the pain, I'm hypnotized.
    I'm falling.
    This is endless now,
    I'm falling
    And I don't know how.

    Just why do I do it?
    How do things get out of hand?
    Is it just me or am I defective,
    I don't understand.

    Will you still love me when I lose the fight,
    Finally turn over on an endless night,
    When all that wasted time becomes reality,
    Yeah,
    When the lights fall and I can finally see.
    You won't find another like me,
    I'm terrible.
    They ask and I'm still wonderful,
    I'm doing fine.
    This is hopeless now,
    "I'm doing fine"
    Is my endless vow.

    Just how do I do it?
    I can't comprehend,
    And until I do,
    I'll never understand.




    Submitted on 2007-04-25 22:32:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I'm not entirely sure here. The word choice could be more solid, and there are areas where you border on forced rhyme, but I like the idea. You also seem to head right for the point and stick with it, which is admirable in a piece this long.

    Nice job, anyway, and keep working at it.

    --crimson
    | Posted on 2007-04-28 00:00:00 | by crimson echo | [ Reply to This ]
      The internal battle waged over who and what we are and when in the hell we are going...and will our chosen mate have the strength to hang in there for this journey of discovery? Questions that seldom find a good answer and are quite often chocked up the category of rhetoric.

    This piece had nice pace and didn't waver in its mission.
    | Posted on 2007-04-26 00:00:00 | by ErgoIgo | [ Reply to This ]
      Cora - I can relate to this piece, as "IT" reminds me of when I was much younger; being an older and wiser, elder, I can see your struggle with self and how that translates to yur relationships to others.

    Always maintain your childlike and inquisitive self and pay attention to your intuitive side.

    Funny, with "Cheap Trick" in the vackgroung - ..."I'll be calling you a radical, a criminal,...." ~*~ appreciate cool saxaphone set ~*~

    anyhoo, understand yourslef and don't expect others to - "feel so magical" and that's all you need.

    Loved this piece

    love,peace,joy & smiles to share

    tif
    | Posted on 2007-04-25 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]



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