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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Blinddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: UnderINK
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 113/53/25
    Words: 200
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Angry
    Total Views: 376
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1654



    Description:
       A song I wrote when I still had a means to play music. I added some underscores to try and compensate for the lack of music by showing where it's meant to be held. Hope it helps.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBlinddots
    -------------------------------------------


    I breathe,
    Smoke is rising up my skin.
    I freeze,
    The cold is holding me again.
    Now I burn,
    The flames engulfing all my sin.
    I hear,
    The voices taunting me again...

    I'm bleeding.
    I'm screaming.
    I'm reaching___
    With deafening pleas.
    I'm falling,
    I'm crawling.
    I'm withering...

    I'm on_
    My_
    Knees_.

    Watch your back--
    The shadows fall across the hills;
    The light lacks--
    My darkness has eclipsed your sun.

    And I__

    I'm suffocating.
    Oblitherating.
    Everything I've become.

    I call out,
    Your name echos within my mind.
    And I shout,
    I have no more sense of time.
    Mine's gone.
    And I told them all that I'd be just fine.
    But I'm not.
    And I won't give them another sign.

    They're blind.

    Their sightless visions wall my head
    With these thoughts,
    Thoughts that follow me to bed
    And rot
    Within my dreams and prayers I've said.
    And I'll go
    Anywhere my path has led__
    Me to.

    I'm bleeding.
    I'm screaming.
    I'm reaching__
    With deafening pleas to you.
    I'm falling,
    I'm crawling.
    I'm withering__

    You're on your knees too.

    Don't feign
    Your innocence with tears_

    You're on your knees too.




    Submitted on 2007-04-26 21:20:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
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    ||| Comments |||
      I loved this, and I wish that I had more to say about it, but all I can say is that, this would be an awesome song for Evanescence to do. I heard Amy Lee singing it in my head as I read it. Loved it.

    Duv
    | Posted on 2008-02-07 00:00:00 | by Draumrkopa | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow...I love the raw emotion portrayed in this set of lyrics.

    To me, I see you pleading with, and singing to, a lover who's turning deaf ears to your pleas..and then at the end, you see he's just as humble as you are, so that you're both pleading with a higher power.

    It's just..wow. I want to hear you sing this sometime, just to hear that power in the voice.
    | Posted on 2008-01-16 00:00:00 | by DemonicInk | [ Reply to This ]
      i Love lyrics...though sometimes it's hard to grasp the feel of them considering we cant hear the music...

    i see this as more calling out to the one you love...at first glance i almost thought this was more to a higher power, or maybe even to a sort of Hope of emotional release...but the last 3 lines made me think otherwise. i just cant picture a god of sorts compromising innocence with tears, nor bending His knees...we are the ones who are to bend ours to Him.

    in any case, whether i'm close to the inside of the lyrics, or miles away, i loved this...

    thanks for sharing
    | Posted on 2007-04-26 00:00:00 | by MmR | [ Reply to This ]
      This is good i like the concept.
    What one could get from this is,
    Calling out to deaf god, and prayers go unanwswered.
    Another thing that i get from this is someone that is is rehab, the reason why, feeliing is arrayed, Scratching ang bleeding, reminds me of an addiction that one has to get past.
    Another that come fourth in my mind is that no one cares about this person.

    Well these are just my thoughts, they maybe wrong, and there maybe a different meaning intended.
    Peace. :)
    | Posted on 2007-04-26 00:00:00 | by WonderfulComa | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    3. How did it make you feel?
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    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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