[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Lovers Lamentdots

    Author: babygirl09
    ASL Info:    21/f/tx
    Elite Ratio:    2.29 - 69/63/49
    Words: 228
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 784
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1382

       If you've got any ideas on the title I'd really appricate it!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLovers Lamentdots

    I donít know her name
    But you have sex with her
    And the painís still the same
    You tell me you love me
    I say itís a lie
    Cause if you really did love me
    Why did you keep it all inside
    As much as I want to say "yes"
    There's something in my mind
    That's keepin me a step behind

    When I look in your eyes
    All my doubts are gone
    I feel whole once again
    And I want to try this again

    Then I think of what caused us
    To break up to begin with
    The familiar pain comes to my eyes
    I have to run away
    So you won't see my pain

    I called you last night
    Realizing what it is you want
    The problem we have though
    Is she might be pregnet
    But there's a possibility
    That it's not your child

    A part of my wants to help you
    And take responsibility
    Another part is yelling "NO!"
    Which everyone says is common sense
    You ask me to not tell anyone
    Through my tears I swear I won't

    We get off the phone
    I stop a second
    To make sure I'm not going to choke
    Getting a grip of myself
    I step out of my room
    Walk into the bathroom
    And cry for a little while more.

    Submitted on 2007-04-27 14:58:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      An old, old lover's lament here...it is old as forever and as new as today nicely done... (how 'bout "Lover's Lament" for a title...) bravo... bravo...
    | Posted on 2008-06-20 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Are not cheap (working title) written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Fasade written by jackz
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by ShyOne
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Push written by JanePlane
    written by Daniel Barlow
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Love written by saartha
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Carry written by saartha
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    I Do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]