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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Magnet Poetrydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Waywarddaughter
    ASL Info:    17/f/Vt
    Elite Ratio:    4.7 - 72/52/22
    Words: 166
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 867
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1122



    Description:
       series of magnet poems I did online. I stole the idea from Wool Raincoat's page...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMagnet Poetrydots
    -------------------------------------------


    I let my taste lay
    give him position
    the instruments are bare
    a woman he did
    together rise beneath
    the wet body
    the soft fiddle squeeze

    * * *


    Mean silhouette
    imagine you here
    aesthetic smear
    how harmony creates
    the music sex metaphors
    a rhythm we break
    mounted color on angry canvas
    draw more
    come empty
    every old electric angle
    pictures nudes,
    beer & smoke.


    * * *


    Never practice girl
    sleep spirit
    another kind fails
    his clown friend studied art.
    Give up.
    I remember you
    always high
    naps here with love
    she danced between her kiss
    saying who was to want her.

    * * *

    My dreams hold it against me
    I am wrong often
    just that you taste like my heart.
    Sex at first sight
    on my bedroom floor,
    that heart donor died happy.

    * * *








    Submitted on 2007-04-28 16:53:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Never practice girl
    sleep spirit
    another kind fails
    his clown friend studied art.
    Give up.
    I remember you
    always high
    naps here with love
    she danced between her kiss
    saying who was to want her.



    Beautifully cyncal exercise in dislodging emotion from thought via disassociative grouping. It almost makes sense the way well written poetry should, and liberates thought from specifics in the process.

    Nicely done
    Bill
    | Posted on 2007-06-23 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      To me each line seems to end rather ruggedly throwing you into another thought, I'm not quite sure if this is a negative thing or not yet. I must say I did like it though, very unique...very creative.

    I won't copy and paste it here, but the last little verse was an amazing wrap up, especially that last line. Got me hooked that is for sure, very nicely written.

    -Geremy
    | Posted on 2007-05-10 00:00:00 | by Geremy Smith | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh! This one is my favorite too:

    My dreams hold it against me
    I am wrong often
    just that you taste like my heart.
    Sex at first sight
    on my bedroom floor,
    that heart donor died happy.


    I love the first three lines so much. Especially "you taste like my heart." And the last line, hah! It's funny, but also...it makes it sound as though what was done was in fact noble.

    Some of these remind me a lot of Adam's poetry (Icarus), in the way that they violate the normal English syntax in their construction.

    There's certainly a lot of clever lines here that I almost want to see transposed to another poem where you won't be bound by the obvious limitations of magnet poetry. I like them though. Magnet poetry sure is nifty!
    | Posted on 2007-05-07 00:00:00 | by wool raincoat | [ Reply to This ]
      "That heart donor died happy"=best line EVER.
    | Posted on 2007-05-01 00:00:00 | by Melora | [ Reply to This ]
      This had some very high points. It created a very provoking mood. I liked it a lot.

    -Guernica
    | Posted on 2007-04-29 00:00:00 | by Guernica | [ Reply to This ]


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    141531

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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