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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Shadows on Concretedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: TheStillSilence
    ASL Info:    20/F/Out in Outer Space
    Elite Ratio:    5.1 - 180/107/54
    Words: 371
    Class/Type: Story/Misc
    Total Views: 761
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2183



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsShadows on Concretedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Chapter One:

    It rang. Brr. Wouldn't stop. In one ear, out the other. Leaving its annoyance in my head. I stretched my arm; pounding the desk, trying to feel its structure. Its sound began circulating around in my head. Molding a cover around it. Blocking everything lese. Filling it with itself.

    Finally my hand came in contact with the clock. It stopped ringing. My blood stopped flowing. My heart stopped pounding. My brain stopped working. Blank

    Then suddendly, everything threw itself at me. The noises, the smells, the lights. Burning at me. I screamed; my voice silent.

    Everything started working again. Now at light speed.

    "Drae!" My mom's voice pierced through it all. Letting itself into my ears. Her voice, however, didn't stick to my brain. Its hollowness guided it out. It came as a awke-up call, so I did.

    My feet glided down the stairs, carrying my dead body; my mirror eyes. My wispy shadow stared back at me.

    As each room passed me on my way to the kitchen, my presence felt out of place. There was something different about everything. It was as if an icey hand ahd run its fingers across it all. I felt its pressence, and feared it would be everlasting. A glimmering glow beheld my eyes. It aligned everything in my sight. My skin felt so plain, standing next to it all.

    Curiousity didn't get the best of me frequently. This time, it stretched itself all around me, holding me captive. I didn't try to get out.

    The kitchen sat there. All alone. Still. Silent. My mom wasn't there. Her hand bag was placed in the counter; its items distributed across. They looked like peices of a puzzle. One piece was missing: the car keys.

    From the window's view, I could see the garage. I saw that shadowy concrete where the yellow glow- that always seemed to blind my eyes when they came in contact with it- should have been standing.

    Where had it gone? Where was my mother? Just a few minutes ago, her usual voice ahd driven the sleep out of me. What happened?




    Submitted on 2007-04-28 20:05:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Great writing! definitiely kept me interested all the way through. Only thing though.. it sorta left me hanging at the end. But that sense of incompleteness sort of goes with the mood of the story.
    | Posted on 2008-09-28 00:00:00 | by bananafish | [ Reply to This ]
      wow...
    | Posted on 2008-03-27 00:00:00 | by Vampiric Death | [ Reply to This ]
      Ah this was so good. It kept me going and interested the entire way through, told an interesting little story and I dug every little detail. Great write.

    -Guernica
    | Posted on 2007-04-30 00:00:00 | by Guernica | [ Reply to This ]


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