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    dots Submission Name: His everlasting patience...dots

    Author: redeemer
    ASL Info:    19/female/venus
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 85/93/58
    Words: 326
    Class/Type: Misc/Love
    Total Views: 742
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2186


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    dotsHis everlasting patience...dots

    I look out the window of his truck...
    I see the people of the passing world...
    Wondering...can they sense my fear???
    Can they sense my self-loathing hate???
    Do they know the pain I feel...the pain that grows greater as the moments pass???

    He looks at me, as if to say, "What's wrong?"
    But of course he knows...
    He can feel it...but that's because he's my other half....
    I'm connected to him somehow...
    Our souls are one...but only because he loves me so....
    I on the other hand cannot return his love...
    Yet I cannot seem to tell him so...

    As we travel east...along the road...
    My heart goes numb...
    I cannot feel at all...
    I am drifting along in a world that does not see me...
    But he sees me...
    He knows I hurt...
    And his patience for me...holds steady...

    I wonder?...maybe someday I can love him...
    Maybe one day he can teach me to let go of all of my hate...let go of all of my pain...let go of the past....
    But maybe...just maybe...not...
    Maybe I am letting him give me to much hope...
    Yet, as I pull away from his love...
    His patience holds steady...

    Days pass....weeks..months...and then....years...
    He's still at my side...and I...love him so...
    I know I do...he's is at my side...yet his patience has drifted...
    His eyes begin to wander...
    He doesn't look at me the way he once did....

    Maybe I've taken to long...maybe I have lost the only person who has ever truly loved me....
    Maybe it's too late to hope...
    I think my time is up...

    He walks away...as if to leave...but suddenly turns and says...
    "There you are...I've been waiting..."
    He looks at me the way he once did...his deep brown eyes...captivate my heart...
    I feel butterflies in my stomach...is this it???
    Is this what I've been waiting for???
    He kisses me...but as I pull away...in fear...
    His patience holds steady...

    Submitted on 2007-04-30 21:57:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This ends much stronger than it starts. I felt this one unlike the one about your mother who left you. This one made me sit up in my chair the more I read. I love the ending, how you pull away and I got the impression that, like many wounded people, once you allowed yourself to feel his love, it got too scary, and you instinctively pulled away to protect herself. I felt that, as if it were me. Like I said, the finish was big, but I feel the opening was a bit weak, especially when compared with the strength of the rest of it. The beginning was...trite, not warm, not original. I thought of a country music video as I read the opening, but I felt the emotion in the last portion.
    As I re-read the poem, and the title, I wonder whether you're speaking of Christ and His longsuffering for His children? I can see that too; in fact, initially, upon merely reading the title, that's what I thought it was about. That's the downer about poetry and interpretation for me: trying to capture my meaning versus trying to decipher the meaning of the author...anyway, I rather enjoyed it nonetheless.
    | Posted on 2007-05-01 00:00:00 | by Ironbutterfly | [ Reply to This ]

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