[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Moral Of The Storydots

    Author: MornSweetSong
    ASL Info:    21/female/wales
    Elite Ratio:    4.42 - 110/83/46
    Words: 315
    Class/Type: Poetry/Venting
    Total Views: 1276
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1803

       Just a rant.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMoral Of The Storydots

    One whole year, 12 months...many weeks.
    I left the crazy ward, but I'm still a freak.
    I was pushed outside, alone and into the cold.
    I might be nuts, but you guys share ONE mould.

    From day fucking one, I was ostracised and loathed.
    So now I've had enough and on this page I'll explode.
    I'll exploit and explain and describe the way I feel,
    you broke me down once, now my nerves are like steel.

    Never again will I be broken, for my past is history.
    I escaped the clutching grasp but you'll never be free.
    You bastards are robots - one day your program will be outdated.
    You'll fall from grace worse than I did - oh boy I'll be elated.

    There's no excuse for the way you behave, now and then.
    It no longer matters, you'll never be trusted again.
    You all still rant and rave, wishing that I had died.
    Pretend you're all victims, I'm the ONLY one with scars to hide.

    I stand tall, strong and proud - as often as I can.
    None of you have balls...I'm a bitch but I'm more of a man.
    Say whatever you want, your words can't hurt me anymore.
    I spent a long time in pools of tears and blood on the floor.

    You all fucked up really bad, you'd better take great care.
    Be nice boys and girls, where ever you go I could be there.
    I'm going to chew you up and spit you all out like gum with no taste.
    You'd better start hiding, I'm gonna be searching post-haste.

    The moral of the story, the lesson you should have learnt..
    Don't fuck with me because you're gonna get burnt.

    Submitted on 2007-05-01 04:30:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      wow dam girl i can so relate this is amazing i feel it all and am soo happy you have over come this is great post gives me courage and hope one day i can do the same

    | Posted on 2010-08-06 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]
      Yeah,yeah-angry,angry.Not bad but I can't work out if it's supposed to be a poem or a rap.It reads more like the latter(probably due to the very direct angst).Not really poetic but more blunt and to the point.You get your message across and some of the rhyming isn't bad.Can't help feeling that it's a bit too personal for the reader to relate to and your feelings cloud any art that may be in the piece though.Very readable however.
    | Posted on 2007-05-01 00:00:00 | by Asakura Cowboy | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]