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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: lessonsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jonny b
    ASL Info:    23mwa
    Elite Ratio:    2.64 - 15/35/28
    Words: 172
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Passion
    Total Views: 792
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1300



    Description:
       its must be read aloud at the proper pace to make proper sense....


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotslessonsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    a writers pasture
    should be a place where
    ideas rapture
    and capture
    it like a picture
    and make it clearer
    like real life suspended
    held in a mirror
    and though thoughts
    are not dependent
    how it is said
    is how its presented
    and how its presented
    displays how its meant
    a lyric is dead
    if not read
    with what is said
    held in mind
    so people process
    each line
    and successes defines
    what others may find
    to be not excess
    but a beautiful expression
    an interjection
    a random collect
    the minds indescrection
    on a lesson
    a great idea
    that takes possession
    and i cant describe
    the feeling of freewheeling
    images
    instances
    where innocence
    and experience
    create something
    mysterious
    about a feeling
    that lures us
    endures us
    and ill endure trust
    if a writer must
    but it must create lust
    and produce intrust
    so please pick carefully
    and expose scarcely
    those thoughts that barely
    make you care free
    and at the same time
    make you say
    "i scare me"




    Submitted on 2007-05-01 20:42:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Your quickly becoming one of my favorites here im actually sending your name to a couple of online friends. I love your works. Your verbal perfections. There rythmic thoughts captured perfectly, again Well Done.

    AL
    | Posted on 2007-05-07 00:00:00 | by Amanda Lynn | [ Reply to This ]
      WOW! I love the way this flows, and howmit speaks out. I agree with everything. And the form I can just imagine this being a piece recited with such passion as i it belonged on the stage as a winner of def poetry jam.



    "and though thoughts
    are not dependent
    how it is said
    is how its presented"

    favorite lines. its like how the reader puts out there is the way someone will take it in, but that doesn't mean another can't come along and change it. I love it!
    | Posted on 2007-05-02 00:00:00 | by groovycay | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    141753

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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