Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Acorn Capdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Epiphany
    ASL Info:    42/F/Universe
    Elite Ratio:    4.38 - 3342/2139/390
    Words: 81
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 657
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 544



    Description:
       Inspired by actual events in nature - no acorn or cap was harmed in the telling of this story

    Good to be goofy and lighthearted!

    love,peace,joy&smiles to share

    tif


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAcorn Capdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Little acorn cap
    fallen to my lap
    how lost you seem to be
    as you roll onto my knee
    searching for your nut
    as you were it's only hut
    and protection
    in this life

    "Oh, how alone
    and full of strife!"

    "What a savage
    world of beasts;
    Birds to have
    you as their feasts!"

    Cries the cap, aloud
    to acorn
    But nestled to the earth,
    already born
    is the acorn
    to the tree




    Submitted on 2007-05-02 11:59:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      A light hearted poem indeed and it's good to walk in the world. I like the style you used early in the poem. I generally hate rhyme at the end of every line but I though it work well and gave the piece a playful quality. your use of hut was clever and for a minute I had to think about it but I just got off work so I'm tired. I think the piece loses that playfulness as the rhyme becomes more sparse. I like what you said in the ending but I think the way you said it could use so reworking. I realize not all poetry has to rhyme I seldom use perfect rhyme but I like your use of it here and I think the piece would have a more unified feel if the rhyme was more consistent. Anyway have a blessed day. G'night.
    | Posted on 2007-06-11 00:00:00 | by shaman | [ Reply to This ]
      Haha, this is such a cute little piece!

    Personal opinion (feel free to ignore): maybe you could space out the lines/stanzas more evenly, each couplet a rhyme. Or something.

    Anyway, a very light-hearted poem!
    | Posted on 2007-05-31 00:00:00 | by Maverique | [ Reply to This ]
      From little acorns, mighty oak trees grow. Your ode to the acorn is very good indeed. Well done mother of all acorns.

    Frank.
    | Posted on 2007-05-03 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a really good piece. i love it. i don't know what else to say.







    tina
    | Posted on 2007-05-03 00:00:00 | by ladiesplanet1 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really good and I do believe this write turned out a lot deeper then what your first intention was
    To me you are showing the reader how important nature nature is to a beautiful and succesful life
    I believe it is truly sad how many humans take natures beauty for granted
    I really enjoyed this
    I believe this will open up some eyes to the true beauty of nature
    God Bless
    Ron

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2007-05-02 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    141785

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    untitled written by Outlaw
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry