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    dots Submission Name: Predestinationdots

    Author: DeadGod
    ASL Info:    20/M/OR
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 61/103/31
    Words: 73
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 832
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 549

       The focus is not on making a choice. It's on dealing with a choice already made.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Another step
    Another breath
    A sodden footprint stains the stair
    Collect your thoughts
    Mere moments left
    Preserve the pain these seconds bear.

    With knuckles taut
    A tongue unfolds
    And flits within a grin of fear
    The metal spins
    Its axis rolled
    Horizon ends; a room appears.

    Adjusting eyes
    To shadows cast
    In charcoal outlines; tangent grey
    A choice is posed
    An answer passed
    Your fate is just two doors away.

    Submitted on 2007-05-03 04:46:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is the best thing I've read on here in ages.The vocab and rhyming are excellent and it rolls off the tongue with intent.Although the content is rather abstract that doesn't affect the quality of the piece.I like the metre you use also-perfectly suits the mood of the poem.
    Nice work.
    | Posted on 2007-05-04 00:00:00 | by Asakura Cowboy | [ Reply to This ]
      This was an interesting piece and it could relate to a dangerous choice of self or as a metaphor for, as Ron pointed out, living in the light or the darkness or known/unknown.

    I liked the title with the piece because it prompts one to think of ithat - is it predetermined or is it something we create.


    love,peace,joy&smiles to share

    | Posted on 2007-05-03 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really good
    To me I dont believe you spoke of death I believe you spoke of life and how it is our choice of how we live it
    We have 2 choices to either live in the positive or the negative
    Sadly some people are just afraid or just to stubborn to live in the positive
    Excellent Work!!
    God Bless

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    | Posted on 2007-05-03 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]

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