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Season of Contrasts It’s that time of year when trees are thick with pink blossom, the pavement littered with stubs of cigarettes and petals. Two old ladies cross at traffic lights, walk slow, lean heavily on black sticks: their arms linked, heads together in the closeness of mutual support. On one side of the road mortar shows chipped on a broken wall and dandelions turn from yellow to white behind black, metal bars. Opposite, graffiti stains shutters on derelict shops, second-hand clothes hang on racks outside the One-in-Eight, and neighboring new built stores stare with blind, white windows across the Gloucester Road; nearby, the park buds children. Their voices drown out the birds. 'He’s going to be a spider.' 'I want to be a dragon.' 'You’re going to be a robot.' Here the traffic is less condensed, and girls swirl past on silver scooters.'What’s that, a ruby?' 'No, it’s an emerald.' Mothers wheel baby buggies past cracked timber benches, and a small boy plays with a wooden train. |
Wonderful! I love how you can find the beauty in spring time even amongst the graffiti, cig butts, and buildings that are dilapidated These things are still still important to point out because they are part of our every day lives and our new view of beauty There rarely untouched beauty of nature any more Some of those children who grow up in city parks will never experience that and need to learn appreciate the little beauty they get to see whether it be a dandelion or budding tree You have excellent imagery in this poem I can picture (i live near Chicago so my mental image was the city) the cities children running around so perfect You painted a wonderful picture with your words bravo | Posted on 2007-05-03 00:00:00 | by digitalflower | [ Reply to This ] | I like this a lot, but I don't feel like it has any closure at all and that completely detracts from the impact of the poem. There's such a lack of closure that it feels like you only stopped halfway through the poem and forgot to submit the rest. It seems unfinished to me. I'd line it up with a repetition at the end of a previous, impacting line, more direction and perhaps a little something the reader can take away with them. | | Posted on 2007-05-03 00:00:00 | by UnderINK | [ Reply to This ] | I really liked this. Its so airy, autumn-like with a smooth poetic flow. The image is so vivid in my mind with a hint of feeble disconnections between the various images. The voices of the children somehow remind my of Woolf's "The Waves", and images of London life. There's a suave pleasure in this, felt through the ordinarity of contrasting seasons. | "It’s that time of year when trees are thick with pink blossom, the pavement littered with stubs of cigarettes and petals" These lines are so beautiful, the truthfullness of pavements- cigarettes and petals.. Greatly enjoyed this poetic ride. -Maria | Posted on 2007-05-03 00:00:00 | by AutumnLeaves | [ Reply to This ] | |