Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Dishwasherdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: saartha
    ASL Info:    27/F/US
    Elite Ratio:    4.03 - 230/390/136
    Words: 30
    Class/Type: Poetry/Comedy
    Total Views: 803
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 244



    Description:
       Double Dactyl poem. A dactyl is three syllables in the pattern of stress, unstress, unstress. The Double Dactyl poem is two dactyls per line, two stanzas, rhyme meter of aabcddec. The fourth and eighth lines have one dactyl plus another stress.

    I took a bit of artistic license and made the fifth and sixth lines have internal rhyme. Enjoy.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Dishwasherdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Anabelle Washington,
    wonderful washwoman,
    dish-washed and pot-washed her
    life down the drain.

    Fingers were pruny from
    years of long duty and,
    crazed, she subjected the
    plates to the rain.




    Submitted on 2007-05-03 18:49:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      AAAAAAAAH!

    I was a dishwasher for about a month and a half. It is the most unforgiving job. No one cares about you.

    "Oh, just give it to the dishwasher. He'll clean it."

    You feel like the filth that is caked onto pots and pans, plates, cutlery. Everything is so wet, so so wet.

    It gives me nightmares.

    Now, onto your poem.

    I had never heard of a dactyl before. I couldn't really even see the stress/unstress stuff. I'm not that crazy about my English. "Where does the stress go? Into my soul."

    The word "crazed" is perfect. That job makes you go crazy. I was already crazy before I started that job, so you should've seen how bad I got. Everyone thought the dishwasher was hopped up on goofballs. Mmm, goofballs.

    And then the line about her life "being washed down the drain". VERY Ironic and VERY fitting. Being a dishwasher is to have no life. No, seriously, it makes you feel like you are the undead or something.

    Were you ever a dishwasher? Cause you really seem to know what you are talking about in this poem.

    | Posted on 2007-07-11 00:00:00 | by manwithnoname | [ Reply to This ]
      Sing-song. I read this again and again just to get the feel. Although I usually care more about meaning of poetry, rather than the rhythm or the sound of reading it out, I think you just proved to me why sound is also very important as well.
    The dactyl is a form I haven't seen much on this site (and to be honest I'm not going to experiment with it either) and so I was rather surprised to see it here..but it's a very useful literary device! Perhaps because of the two unstressed syllables. Someone get me a proper drumroll.
    Anyhow no point writing ten pages explaining what happens next.
    Catchy. I'll keep this one in my head.
    Cheers
    Azuire
    | Posted on 2007-05-06 00:00:00 | by Azuire | [ Reply to This ]
      haha its cute, short. And the format is definitly interesting. I can't really say much about it because I am not too familiar with the style and its quite short. But anyways, good job.
    -Randee
    | Posted on 2007-05-06 00:00:00 | by UnderlinedInRed | [ Reply to This ]
      Well written. Interesting format used, nice to see something more than aabb or abab type formats of writing. Great job, and quite an odd thing to write about I must say.
    ~Dan
    | Posted on 2007-05-03 00:00:00 | by djtswing | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    141869

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Chasing The Lie written by jackz
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Where is My Ghost written by ForgottenGraves
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Everyone written by poetotoe
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    "other people don't get that" written by Daniel Barlow
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Instances written by hyproglo
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Some of it written by Daniel Barlow
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Broken Promises written by S.A.M.
    In My Head written by faideddarkness

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry