Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: the life of a donkey pilgrimdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 214
    Class/Type: Prose/Misc
    Total Views: 491
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1417



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe life of a donkey pilgrimdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I.
    PRELUDIO

    the life of any donkey pilgrim
    is a hurricane thru which i enter
    at my own leisure
    slowly the weather arrives
    like a new tune with an old twist
    for me it began at age five
    and ended about 40 minutes later
    after the candles were done
    the cake was gone
    & the balloons drifted away
    some people stayed
    some people left
    it was fun it was clear
    i knew where i stood

    II.
    INFERNO

    there is no need to look
    for a target -
    where my feet are
    so too the moss that glows
    on the north side of trees
    it's a tall mystery for us all
    point me to my curse

    III.
    PURGATORIO

    having crossed the great waters
    where loneliness
    stretches itself too thin
    and disappears
    god's teeth smiled
    like a thousand busted piano keys
    that kept playing
    long after the fat lady
    got a toe-tag and i took a nap

    IV.
    PARADISO

    lord or no lord i shall be glad
    when anyone comes down
    out of the ice and strangeness
    we call heaven
    i'm all about tough love
    a box a whip
    a mask with a zipper on it
    but pants or no pants
    i'm not wearing their underwear




    Submitted on 2007-05-03 21:38:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      it was well done but i didn't like it. i don't know what else to say

    shadow
    | Posted on 2007-05-07 00:00:00 | by in shadow | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    141881

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    Cover written by saartha
    Every..... written by jackz
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Carry written by saartha
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    Etiquette written by saartha
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Records I written by Raphael
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    Silent Screams In Silent Dreams written by poetotoe

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry