Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: When I'm gone...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: pixie_007
    Elite Ratio:    3.36 - 45/77/63
    Words: 161
    Class/Type: Story/Serious
    Total Views: 966
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 953



    Description:
       Things are changing in my life and now choices have to be made,I'm leaving. But I will be back,because my life is here...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhen I'm gone...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    When you've been to a place that only good things have happened you kinda don't want to leave,even when you knew someday you had to go back.

    You let yourself get carried away with it and get attached to almost everything when you knew you weren't supposed to,but it felt so perfect...

    And then you did something you said you wouldn't and loved someone who promised you things you've been dreaming of all your life,yes I'v found that place...

    And,I'v been there for almost one tenth of a decade and already it feels like its where I belong,like there was no "before I came here" and "back home".

    But what else can I do now but go back and say I have one and only one thing left to do? Find my way back to that place because there is nothing else I want more...

    So when I'm gone...
    I won't be away for long.




    Submitted on 2007-05-04 06:12:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like it, it's very deep and emotional, almost assuring to the person who you wrote it for. I think you could add some detail and description to it though, that would really spice it up and make it alive. It kind of reminds me when my friend told me that she'd be rite back on yahoo messenger, and she never came back.... I really like it over all though "You let yourself get carried away with it and get attached to almost everything when you knew you weren't supposed to,but it felt so perfect..." this is a perfect example of why I like it, it's so truthful and real, saying how you get carried away with it, (which could be anything) and attached to almost everything when you knew you weren't supposed to (makes me think of loving someone your not supposed to, i've expirenced that first hand) and it feeling so perfect. *claps* i give it 2 thumbs up ^_^


    Jack
    | Posted on 2007-05-04 00:00:00 | by Blood†Tears | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    141895

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry