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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: i hopedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ThisIsReal
    ASL Info:    25-M-/Found
    Elite Ratio:    4.27 - 182/194/89
    Words: 93
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 768
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 576



    Description:
       just a short poem bout my ex fiance samantha


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsi hopedots
    -------------------------------------------


    If i could take back all the pain,

    if i could take back all the scars,

    if i could take back all the fights,

    I would,

    I would.



    If i could unsay

    every wrong word to you

    If i could forget

    the bad times we went through

    I would,

    I would



    But all I can do

    is hope like hell

    that I can be forgiven

    for the things i cant undo





    Submitted on 2007-05-04 20:35:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      It preety good bro...shows alot of pain...
    | Posted on 2008-01-15 00:00:00 | by Bloodlust86 | [ Reply to This ]
      Now Why would you have to go and write something like that about me. You know that It wasn't just you. You know that I started the fights, that I pushed you away, and that It was all my fault that we broke up. Rob, I still love you to pieces but as I have said before and will say now, we are better left separated, because I will in the end hurt you again, as I have numerous times in the past. It is just the way I am with me being so afraid of Commitment and getting hurt. I try to distance myself from people. You won't find me if you come looking for me, I won't let you and I won't be at Jeremy's for a long time either so you won't find me there.... I am at someones house with whom you have never met, and I didn't know I knew until recently. I am hiding from you and even more so from myself, because I know what I have done in my past and for that I will always pay, but I do implore you do not come to find me you and I would never work out.

    Ciao,

    Samantha
    | Posted on 2007-08-20 00:00:00 | by Sharati_hottie | [ Reply to This ]
      I think it sounds like a beautiful first try. Love the concept we can all relate to. Feel very good as is though a little more time could make a WOW! Looking forward to more of you. Heather
    | Posted on 2007-05-05 00:00:00 | by HAD | [ Reply to This ]
      very short and well... not sweet in tone but it's abrupt and blunt.


    at first i was turned off by all of the "if i" statements. However, in the end i found that the structure functioned well and worked out for the better. repitition can be troublesome sometimes, and i feel bad for judging because i haven't written anything seriously in a very long time. even the items i have posted are old rants. it takes a lot of bravery to open up your work to anybody, even online to strangers.


    your piece, your writing, it sounds very sad....i can relate so badly. well, i don't just feel like i can, i can. this actually brings out my fear of commitment all over again. ( for the first time, just recently, i have felt completely over it. my relationship has allowed me to let go and be carefree about everything that we do and not worry about getting hurt or hurting him, but this just scares me again. it reminds me of everything i was scared of before.)

    it's so hard to look back and wonder if it was worth it in the end. does your relationship with that person while you had it merit your horrible feelings of sickness and anxiety when you see them now?

    do you mind me asking how did you two date and of that, how long were you engaged?

    thank you for sharing your piece, it is powerful to anybody that has felt something similar to what you're going through, and i am sure that it conveys the same emotion to anybody that hasn't. though i believe that we all have felt a loss like this at some time in our life... i don't see how anybody couldn't be touched by this.
    | Posted on 2007-05-05 00:00:00 | by falloutgirl | [ Reply to This ]


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