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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Miragedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: StylerDen
    ASL Info:    29/Male/Malaysia
    Elite Ratio:    2.98 - 38/59/51
    Words: 51
    Class/Type: Poetry/Mirror or Mask
    Total Views: 1178
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 381



    Description:
       Fake water pond, deceiving isnt it?
    Look beyond the flesh, and you'll find what it really means.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMiragedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Forever and ever,
    Waves of ocean dawn,
    Dry ground brings forth mirage,

    If ever we wonder,
    Appearance foregone,
    Dress like flowers corsage,

    I do not remember,
    Our love become lost,
    When did it turned barrage,

    Now I sit in sunder,
    Reminded what's not,
    My heart been torn apart.




    Submitted on 2007-05-06 02:45:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Nice syncronicity... My band has been working on a song since last October, and I was thinking about naming it Sunder... not a word you see to often.

    It was recently a Dictionary.com word of the day, did you steal it from that? Just kidding.

    In the second stanza I'd put "Dress like A flowers corsage" to match the amount of syllabulls of the first line, and there's some confusing tense lines around and about, but nothing I'd change completley.

    It's a good poem I'd say, but it doesn't feel personal to me... I don't know... Keep it up, I look forward to reading the rest of your stuff.
    | Posted on 2007-05-07 00:00:00 | by NoMartyr | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
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