Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Erase From Life

Author: caballero7137
ASL Info:    22/m/victoriaville
Elite Ratio:    0.72 - 9 /104 /123
Words: 78
Class/Type: Poetry /Depressed
Total Views: 1105
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 527


Erase From Life

A kiss that reeks of Death
slowly slithers slide
throughout my veins
and begins to rape
my blood and circulation.
I turn as numb as stone
and completely blind
to the sight of Life.
Tears gush from my eyes
in tiny drips of regret
as my body fossilizes
and become one
with the ground.

While I sink to the depths
beyond the sight of existence,
the world simply continues
in its daily routine.

Submitted on 2007-05-06 13:56:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  well this definatlly has lots of imagry in it. i like the part about fossilizingi into the ground. i could just see it in my head. i liked it. it just rolles when you read it. it leaves you wanting more i guess you could say. have a great day
| Posted on 2007-05-06 00:00:00 | by lili | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?