Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

for who you are

Author: lili
ASL Info:    23 a world of my own
Elite Ratio:    3.82 - 1290 /797 /106
Words: 136
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 1105
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 731


i have not writen in a long time and am trying to get back into the swing of things. honest opinions welcomed. i want there to be more imagry in this piece. there is a person in my life right now that just hearing his voice or getting a little email from him just makes me feel safe. he doesnt want to change me and cares for me as i am. i cant put the feelings in to words for some reason. any help is welcome if you have suggestions for any of the stanzas send them my way. i really want to creat something for him to let him know how much he has helped me through the tough days. thought the trials and tribulations of life. he helped me see that i was doing the right thing when i was uncertain. helped pull me though my divorce.

for who you are

You have a way with words,
they inspire me to the fullest.
Your words calm the seas of my soul,
And give me hope for the future.

You look into my eyes
And give me a soft kiss
The feeling of security in my grasp.

I would wait a life time,
For just one more minute with you.
When you’re by my side
Nothing can go wrong

You actually listen to what I say
And treat me as though I am the only one in the room
My past is what has made me who I am today
And that is what you like about me.

I am who I am
No regrets,
You care for me as I am
Not wanting to change me

Submitted on 2007-05-06 16:41:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  nice. it sounds like who ever this was written for was someone very cool.. someone that loves you very much.. i like this piece its very touching
| Posted on 2007-05-07 00:00:00 | by kristian | [ Reply to This ]
  This was very good but there somthing missing to give it the "WOW" to it...idk what it is but i like this piece showing that somtime the lil things can be the bigger and the more improtant things. I think if you should this him he would really like this and get a feeling of what you really feel.....

Well i hope to hear form you and keep up the good job


P.S. sorry bout not giving no examples how to give it that wow to or piece...
| Posted on 2007-05-06 00:00:00 | by theman | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?