This is really really good. It's bittersweet. I like the line:
"just when I expect you the least
But I need you the most"
Because I think it is so true about everyone. Everyone knows one person who they don't think of as necessary, but then realize later that they do. Very good!
Okay, I like this poem but there are some things that I'd love to help you with. Since you only requested "thoughts" I will not list any of those things (let me know if you would like a critique). Over all the concept of theme was very well portrayed. The general feel and meter of the poem had a few rough spots, but it added a lot.
Oh, This is very pretty and sweet. The genuine feeling it gives off is something that I've always wanted to portray. It took me to read it a few times to fully grasp the meaning.
The coat line is so beautiful. Like a hope that what you wish for will happen. Almost like a resolution that you are not wrong that what you long for will appear.
The city scape line was beautifully descriptive but it almost left me wanting for more description through out the rest of the piece. After that there are no orignal lines, just repeats.
I love the poem but as always I would love expansion. The repeated lines gave it the realness but if you had more lines it would compliment the piece more.
Otherwise I was very moved and happy to discover this!
Submission Name: Summer Snow
