Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: See You Laterdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AeThe Lost Poet
    ASL Info:    19/M/DE
    Elite Ratio:    3.6 - 147/184/122
    Words: 163
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 792
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1256



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSee You Laterdots
    -------------------------------------------


    My eyes and heart were like,
    Raindrops,
    So simple drip falling-,
    Caught in the,
    Emotions,
    Left me so sick, crawling-,

    Stalling at the,
    Sight the,
    Fact I couldn’t give-,
    The love you wanted,
    But troubled,
    I just wanted to live-,

    See, I bridge,
    These lines,
    From here, there and back-,
    Use these colors,
    To attempt
    To fill in what I lack-,

    It didn’t work,
    No not at all,
    So I filled in empty spaces,
    Stayed between,
    The lines, and wrote,
    Letters in upper cases,

    So maybe you,
    Could feel the bold,
    Font on the paper,
    I wanted to, you know,
    But I won’t,
    See You later,

    So I’m left
    On this one line,
    Strangled on a prophecy
    So, I guess,
    This goodbye,
    Breaks our monotony,

    Until , maybe you,
    Could feel the bold,
    Font on this paper,
    I wanted to, you know…
    But I won’t…
    See You later…






    Submitted on 2007-05-08 09:58:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hmm, letting your emotions out on paper but not in person? This is nice. It reminded me of one of those little jazzy rap things. I liked it, especially the little 'ILU' thing. It's sad too,
    emotions suck. The first 'see you later' made that stanza seem a little choopy. Otherwise it was nice.
    Good work. Thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2007-09-23 00:00:00 | by emoxday | [ Reply to This ]
      Damn dude. I mean besides the relationship aspect of this, it really gets through what its like to write you know? Like how you want people to feel when they read your stuff. This has got a good beat too.
    Josh
    | Posted on 2007-09-19 00:00:00 | by MC white | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow I really liked it.. I'm stunned for words.. All my head can come up with is Wow.
    | Posted on 2007-05-10 00:00:00 | by Katlord | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    142101

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    This written by Chelebel
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry