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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: See You Laterdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AeThe Lost Poet
    ASL Info:    19/M/DE
    Elite Ratio:    3.46 - 134/176/116
    Words: 163
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 180
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1256



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSee You Laterdots
    -------------------------------------------


    My eyes and heart were like,
    Raindrops,
    So simple drip falling-,
    Caught in the,
    Emotions,
    Left me so sick, crawling-,

    Stalling at the,
    Sight the,
    Fact I couldn’t give-,
    The love you wanted,
    But troubled,
    I just wanted to live-,

    See, I bridge,
    These lines,
    From here, there and back-,
    Use these colors,
    To attempt
    To fill in what I lack-,

    It didn’t work,
    No not at all,
    So I filled in empty spaces,
    Stayed between,
    The lines, and wrote,
    Letters in upper cases,

    So maybe you,
    Could feel the bold,
    Font on the paper,
    I wanted to, you know,
    But I won’t,
    See You later,

    So I’m left
    On this one line,
    Strangled on a prophecy
    So, I guess,
    This goodbye,
    Breaks our monotony,

    Until , maybe you,
    Could feel the bold,
    Font on this paper,
    I wanted to, you know…
    But I won’t…
    See You later…






    Submitted on 2007-05-08 09:58:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hmm, letting your emotions out on paper but not in person? This is nice. It reminded me of one of those little jazzy rap things. I liked it, especially the little 'ILU' thing. It's sad too,
    emotions suck. The first 'see you later' made that stanza seem a little choopy. Otherwise it was nice.
    Good work. Thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2007-09-23 00:00:00 | by emoxday | [ Reply to This ]
      Damn dude. I mean besides the relationship aspect of this, it really gets through what its like to write you know? Like how you want people to feel when they read your stuff. This has got a good beat too.
    Josh
    | Posted on 2007-09-19 00:00:00 | by MC white | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow I really liked it.. I'm stunned for words.. All my head can come up with is Wow.
    | Posted on 2007-05-10 00:00:00 | by Katlord | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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