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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: White Cloudsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: EmpathicAya
    ASL Info:    13+8/unMale/Your Mind
    Elite Ratio:    7.31 - 700/456/109
    Words: 76
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1128
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 564



    Description:
       I always thought that in movies, white clouds were a symbol of new beginnings, after an end. To Nan.
    ~Azura*
    (I edited it to make it more clear who was speaking in the italicized)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhite Cloudsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I wish I could smooth away
    your wrinkles of inquisition, your
    divets of doubt.

    I want you to help her, Divine Lady,
    and give her a reason for her loss.


    The clouds have purposelessly
    rolled by again,
    but your eyes reside over us,
    always watching.

    Don't
    question this reality, blessed one, embrace
    it.


    The cloud still knows not why
    it blows in the sky.




    Submitted on 2007-05-08 14:21:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I dont know why I picked this poem to comment, but I am glad. It was wonderful, in a very unusual way. Are you a Wiccan? Not that it mattered, just felt the vibe. You write modern, in a masterly way. It is quite simple, yet it says a lot, in those few sentences. I actually felt a bit sad after I had read it, but that is just because I put it out of context (the original one) and into my life, and my setting. The whole idea of the little cloud blowing about, not understanding what has happened, why, and where to blow next. It is sad. You write that you see clouds as new beginnings. I suppose the idea of a new beginning, a blank sheet, an empty heaven, it scares me. If the poem was not sad enough originally, I add all these layers from myself in it, when reading.

    A wonderful piece! Even though it made me feel rather unhappy... But I suppose poetry should wake emotions, at least if it is good poetry, and this certaintly was...
    | Posted on 2007-12-29 00:00:00 | by ChrystalR | [ Reply to This ]
      Nan has that way of making people like us write poems to and for her lol.

    This is beautifully and concisely written. For a sky-poet like her, it makes complete sense.

    Peace,

    Jase
    | Posted on 2007-06-01 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi love,

    I am so honored by your friendship in the first place. But that you think of me often and send your healing with work like this. It's such a clear blue sky analogy and the clouds I find represent the waiting involved in finding miracles.

    I am a valid fan of the sky show and you plant it so faithfully in our minds. I even prefer the images to clear blue, something to provoke my interest, if you get my gist.
    Most of all, I understand this perfectly and without a trace of edit involved. thanks for the love you bring to my life.

    Thanks for all you do sweet one,
    love from me and the Goddess,

    Nan
    | Posted on 2007-05-31 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      Very, very nice! I have no constructive criticism, and I fear this will be quite a short comment as I have absolutely no idea what to say! (in a good way)

    I love the length, and the style is erfect for the message. Nice imagery, the opening stanza was my favourite, but it was all just lovely :)

    Wonderful write!

    Cheers and God bless,

    ~Mandi~
    | Posted on 2007-05-09 00:00:00 | by Mandi Gayle | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree with Dolor in that the length of the poem suits the point. I like how you gave the clouds personification. Saying that "The cloud still knows not why/ it blows in the sky." Which tells the audience, in essence, that the cloud can stand for something in our minds, but in it's own mind, it is only what it is. However, I'm not sure who is speaking in the italicised parts. Is it the cloud or someone on the ground looking up towards it? Anyways, I thought it was rather deep, even if it wasn't intended to be.

    Your Beautiful Nightmare,
    Lilithe Amara Aislin
    | Posted on 2007-05-08 00:00:00 | by Lilithe_Aislin | [ Reply to This ]
      Maria got the concept, but I want to try to clarify it for myself and maybe for a little more insight to you as well. This poem is an original excerpt of human nature, in that humanity wishes to understand, and yet some things are beyond human comprehension, however, in our extreme amazement, such simplest creatures and either cope with acceptance or live another way that does not interfere with the rules of life, if that is even possible.

    I could type a bit more about it, but I want to get right down to the poem itself. I thought the length was very fitting for the point you were trying to make; however, it feels lacking. Not in a literary sense, but figuratively: you have left questions purposefully unanswered in order to make the reader (forcefully perhaps) think outside the box. It's really a mind-jogger, but it puts reality into perspective and how much we understand about the big picture of things.
    | Posted on 2007-05-08 00:00:00 | by Dolor | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this poem, despite the fact that i dont understand it. It appears to me something mystical dwells among the clouds, but I cannot grasp it. I tried to read it in relation to what you said about new beginnings, but I got lost again. Are you talking about some divine force, and a request to provide explanation for the death of a loved one? I am not sure. But anyway, that didnt prevent me from enjoying it.
    - Maria
    | Posted on 2007-05-08 00:00:00 | by AutumnLeaves | [ Reply to This ]


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    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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